TITLE    : Dirty Words
STORYID  : dirty-words-4
SUMMARY  : Our lascivious lexicon.
AUTHOR   : Cal Y. Pygia@lit
DATE     : 2009-08-02
CATEGORY : adult-humor
FLAGS    : 
TAGS     : |dirty words|lexicon|conspiracy|ass|political satire|


The Center for the Study of Conspiracies, financed by the Barack Obama Stimulus Package, which has been such a boon to the porn industry, has uncovered a shocking worldwide plot to pervert users of the English language by embedding words with "vulgar and disgusting" slang references to sexual organs, erogenous zones, and sexual perversions in ordinary language as well as the highly specialized vocabularies of experts in a variety of academic and professional fields.



Some researchers suggest that Obama intends this use of "subliminal text messaging" as a means of promoting his core constituents' "gay and lesbian agenda," although others suggest that the linguistic program is intended merely to promote "safe sex." A form of outercourse, such pundits say, Obama's lascivious lexicon is "as risk-free and meaningful as telephone sex" and offers "literate folks" a way of experiencing a bit of pleasure in their otherwise dull and dreary lives. Indeed, such analysts contend, Obama's program may be more "about promoting literacy than it is about encouraging promiscuity."



The technique is as simple as it is brilliant. Slang terms have been embedded in ordinary words. The conscious mind is not apt to see the embedded terms because of the internal, or psychological, "censor" that God and/or nature (and society, in the form of one's parents, the mother, in particular) have installed in morally upright people, but the villainous unconscious mind perceives these slang "words within words." As a result, readers get a "sexual buzz," without knowing that they are being manipulated or "masturbated" by the text.



What's more, the contexts in which these "dirty words" occur offer a clue as to which audiences they target.



Having obtained a list of at least some of the words that Obama's lascivious lexicon contains, I am able to apprise Literotica readers of them. To make these words visible, as it were, to the morally upright people who may, by accident, have accessed this website and this category and this article, I will capitalize the nefarious "words within words" to make them stand out, even to the conscious mind, in spite of the internal censor and, in parentheses, after each word thus revealed, I will identify its targeted audience.



As a result, it should be clear just how widely the Obama administration has cast its indoctrination net in an attempt to brainwash and manipulate citizens not only of the United States, but also of the world. (We would do well to recall that Obama's birth certificate is dubious at best and that, in Germany, before assuming the office of the presidency, he characterized himself as being "a citizen of the world.")



ASSASSin (Central Intelligence Agency), ASSault (criminals), ASSembly (high school students), ASSay (gold prospectors), ASSent (politicians), Assertive (women and wimpy men), ASSess (revenue agents), ASSistance (Welfare recipients), ASSignment (students), (bASS (fishermen), clASS (teachers and professors), crASS (former President Bill Clinton), lASS (teenage girls), mASS (Catholics), pASS (transsexuals), sASS (teenage boys), surpASS (Type A personalities).



highballs (alcoholics), MEATls (chefs), fastBALLS (pitchers)



BOOBy hatch (mental patients), BOOBy prize (game show contestants), BOOB tube (television viewers), BOOBoo (mothers of young children; young children), BOOBy traps (soldiers)



BREASTstroke (swimmers), aBREAST (writers and other users of archaic language), double-BREASTED (tailors), BREASTfeed (mothers), BREASTplate (Amazons), BREASTbone (physicians and patients), BREASTbeating (Tarzan)



BUTTer (Mrs. BUTTersworth), BUTTerscotch (confectioners), BUTTERcup (botanists and florists), BUTTerfingers (clumsy oafs), BUTTerfly (entomologists), BUTTon (clothiers), BUTTress (stonemasons), BUTTonhole (boors), BUTTermilk (diary farmers), cigar or cigarette BUTT (smokers), scuttleBUTT (gossips)



COCKsure (male homosexuals), COCKy (heterosexual women), half-COCKed (angry old men), COCKscomb (hairdressers), COCK-and-bull (political pundits), COCKle (uncertain; possibly Hillary Clinton), COCKpit (pilots), COCKney (Brits) COCKamamie (mental patients), Cockeyed (Monica Lewinsky) cold COCK (criminals), COCKfight (rednecks), COCKtail (alcoholics), COCKer spaniel (dog lovers), Bangkok (Taiwanese), shuttleCOCK (seniors)



CUMulous and CUMulonimbus (meteorologists), CUMquat (fruiters), CrUMb (bakers), CUMin (spice merchants), cloaCUM (male homosexuals), talcum (mothers)



ChappaquidDICK (Ted Kennedy)



NorSEMEN (historians), horSEMEN (cowboys), wiSEMEN (Christians), houSEMEN (rich old biddies), warehouSEMEN (AFL-CIO or, maybe, the Mafia)



PRICKly (Joe Biden), pinPRICK (seamstresses) 



PUSSY willow (botanists and heterosexual men), PUSSTfoot (podiatrists and heterosexual men), PUSSYcat (veterinarians, PETA protestors, and heterosexual men)



TITter (comedians), TITillate (porn stars and their fans), TITanic (spinsters and other fans of the movie by the same title), TITle (royalty and the nobility), TITanium (chemists)



WOMBat (zoologists)



Experts differ as to what Obama and his administration intends, because, critics say, the president has not "calibrated" his words all that well. He speaks eloquently, but most of his phrases are hollow. When his teleprompter is not operating and he has to speak extemporaneously, he is seldom either eloquent or intelligible. However, he is quick to deny that he is intentionally using language to brainwash or otherwise manipulate or masturbate his listeners. "That was President BUSH's program," he declares, "not mine; I inherited it from my predecessor."



The first lady says that it is unfair to accuse her husband of "mind-fucking the American people; he's not like Bill CLInTon."



Nevertheless, despite the president's the first lady's denials, The Center for the Study of Conspiracies insists that there is "a vast left-wing conspiracy" afoot in which "subliminal text messaging" is occurring. "The hope is to demoralize the literate by continually subjecting them to the thoughts, such as they are, of the illiterates who have taken control of the media," a spokesperson for the Center told FOX News ("fox" is itself a slang term for an attractive woman). According to the Center's STUDies, the government is inserting offensive and vulgar terms into everything they write, even the names of high-ranking federal officials, including Speaker of the House NANCY (a slang term for an effeminate homosexual) Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader HARRY (a homonym for "hairy") Reid.



It's all just a coincidence, some say, arguing that dirty words seem to be embedded in other, longer words only because some readers have dirty minds. "They want to see words like 'ass,' 'balls,' 'boob,' 'breast,' 'butt,' 'cock,' 'cum, 'dick,' 'semen,' 'prick,' 'pussy,' 'tit,' and even 'womb,' so they do see them, everywhere, in everything they read," psychiatrist Ima D. ONG theorizes. "If you were to print what I just said, or even just my name, you'd see some of these 'dirty words' if you're looking for them." 

