TITLE    : Incubi and Succubi
STORYID  : incubi-and-succubi
SUMMARY  : All you wanna know about sex (demons) but are afraid to ask.
AUTHOR   : Cal Y. Pygia@lit
DATE     : 2010-02-18
CATEGORY : reviews-and-essays
FLAGS    : 
TAGS     : |demon|incubus|succubus|devil|spirit|witch|


What would it be like to make love to a demon?



Well, first of all, it wouldn't be anything as tender as "making love." It would be vile and disgusting and, most likely, painful.



According to women who were accused of being witches during the Inquisition's medieval witch hunts, demon seed is freezing cold. One might imagine the effect of a blast of arctic semen at the height of one's own emotional and sexual climax. Such a sensation would tend to put a damper on things pretty quickly, one might suppose.



But sex demons didn't assault only women.



There are two types of sex demons: the succubus, which takes the form of Angelina Jolie, to fuck men, generally while they're asleep, and the incubus, which assumes the appearance of Brad Pitt, to have sex with women, also, usually, while they are slumbering.



Although some Inquisitors believed that the very existence of succubi and incubi is problematic, they tended to keep their doubts to themselves (or to each other), because they enjoyed hearing the alleged witches' bawdy tales of sex with evil spirits of fallen angels. Such tales also gave them an excuse (as if they needed one) to examine the nude bodies of alleged witches for the existence of a devil's mark, which could be just about anything from a zit to a birthmark.



Incubi didn't just have cold ejaculate, but their cocks were huge, too, and sometimes forked, like their tongues, so they could fuck a witch both fore and aft at the same time. (Perhaps that is why they had forked tongues, too, so they could simultaneously perform both cunnilingus and analingus on a witch. Suddenly, sex with a demon isn't sounding all that bad, is it, ladies?)



Unfortunately, during sex, the human participant sometimes caught a glimpse of the demon's true appearance, maybe in a looking-glass, and, well, let's just say that he or she didn't look all that much like Jolie or Pitt, even on one of his or her worst days. In their true forms, these demons looked more like a sodden Lindsay Lohan or Pee Wee Herman getting his jollies in the back of a porn theater.



Another unfortunate result of sex with demons, for women, was unwanted pregnancy. Most women, witches included, didn't really want to conceive, bear, and deliver a devil's spawn, but some witches claimed to have done so. Merlin, the famous magician, is said to be the son of a close encounter of the worst kind. (The child of such a union was known, among Inquisitors and other busybodies, as a "cambion.") According to some theologians, Attila the Hun, Martin Luther, and the mermaid Melusine were also demon children, as will be the Antichrist, who is yet to be born.



Wanting to be spared torture and death, women who were accused of practicing witchcraft without a license tried, on occasion, to trump up some scientific-sounding explanation for their supposed experiences, many choosing to blame the whole affair on waking dreams, sleep paralysis, or the Old Hag syndrome.



Waking dreams are daydreams or, in this context, sexual fantasies. The sex demon existed, according to these explanations, only in the supposed victim's mind.



During sleep paralysis, the brain wakes, while the body remains paralyzed, and the witch can remain conscious but unable to move for hours, which can cause her to hallucinate (imagining that she's having sex with a demon, for example) while she feels great fear.



The Old Hag syndrome manifests itself in the feeling of great pressure upon the chest, as if someone--an old hag--were sitting upon the body.



Unfortunately, none of these explanations could account for the ice-cold semen or the birth of cambions. Some men tried to lend a hand, identifying the bastards who resulted from their rape of an alleged witch as the offspring of demonic seed This explanation also met with some skepticism.



Men had better luck in explaining the wet spots to which they and their wives might occasionally awaken: these were the results not of the guy's masturbation marathon or a nocturnal emission, but the visitation of an incubus.



Sex demons didn't produce their own sperm. They stole it from men, as incubi, and then delivered it to women, as succubi.



Peter of Paluda and Martin of Arles introduced a new wrinkle, so to speak, to the whole incubus-succubus-bisexual demon speculations that passed, during the Middle Ages, for theology, namely necrophilia, arguing that sex demons could, and, in fact, did, collect semen from recently deceased men. Male corpses, for this reason, they declared, should be buried as soon as possible.



Rosemary's Baby is an example of demon sex. If the movie is a reliable guide, sex with a demon isn't pretty. It's forced. It hurts. It's humiliating. It's vile. And, worst of all, it can result in a clawed and fanged cambion who looks much like the film's director, Roman Polanski.



Today, following the advent of erectile dysfunction drugs for men and sexual enhancement creams for women, incubi and succubi rarely rear their heads (or tails), having gone the way of most ghosts in the wake of infrared photography.

