TITLE    : PETA Pets
STORYID  : peta-pets
SUMMARY  : Animals have the right to go naked, PETA's Pets, included.
AUTHOR   : Cal Y. Pygia@lit
DATE     : 2011-05-15
CATEGORY : reviews-and-essays
FLAGS    : 
TAGS     : |peta|naked|nude|famous|porn star|cause|


People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), which was established in the 1980s by Ingrid Newkirk and Alex Pacheco, is well known for its sexy advertisements in which so-so, mostly female celebrities appear, hoping to jump-start their flagging careers by displaying themselves nude, semi-nude, or scantily clad, in the ruse that they are baring their, uh, souls for a good cause: to publicize animal abuse.



Among the exhibitionists who have graced PETA's full-page or billboard-size advertisements are Maggie Q, Sophie Monk, Traci Bingham, Jenna Jameson, Natasja Vermeer, Eva Mendes, Joanna Krupa, Alicia Silverstone, Taraji P. Henson, Annalise Braakensiek, Dominique Swain, Pamela Anderson, Christy Turlington, Vida Guerra, Christian Serratos, Stephanie Pratt, Bonnie-Jill Laflin, Karina Smirnoff, Sasha Grey, Imogen Bailey, Sheryl Lee, Olivia Munn, Charlotte Ross, Famke Janssen, Sadie Frost, Alaska, Alicia Mayer, Jamelia, Nia Long, Hana Nitsche, and Khloe Kardashian.



If, in reading this list of has-beens and never-weres, you asked yourself, Who? more than a few times, you have plenty of company. I looked up the ones I hadn't heard of and discovered that Maggie Q is an "actress"; Natasja Vermeer is a Dutch porn star; Taraji P. Henson is both an "actress" and a "singer"; Annalise Braakensiek is a "TV presenter"; Vida Guerra is a "model," "actress," and "singer"; Stephanie Pratt is "an American reality TV personality"; Bonnie-Jill Laflin is "an American model, actress, and TV personality"; Karina Smirnoff is a "ballroom dancer"; Sasha Grey is a porn star; Imogen Bailey is "an Australian model, actress, and singer"; Sheryl Lee is an "actress"; Olivia Munn is "an American comedic actress, model, television personality and author"; Sadie Frost is "an English actress"; Alaska is a nobody; Alicia Mayer is a Filipina "actress and model"; Jamelia is "Jamelia Niela Davis," a British singer-songwriter, model, entertainer, and television presenter"; Nia Long is "an actress and occasional music video director"; and Hana Nitsche is a "German fashion model."



More importantly, I learned that Maggie Q is scary thin; Natasja has a nice ass; Taraji has a tattoo around her waist; Annalise would seem to offer amazing anal opportunities; if Veda sucks cock as well as she sucks the red-hot chili pepper she fellates in her advertisement, she must give wonderful head; Christian has a beautiful bottom; Stephanie's buns, although pretty, are not as beautiful as the bunny she holds; I want Bonnie-Jill's body; Karina is a lovely dancer; Sasha looks beat up and washed out; Imogen should be in the movies; Sheryl looks good enough as a corpse to raise the dead; Olivia should show us some beaver if she really hopes to save circus elephants; Sadie's bare butt is sort of masculine; Alicia should remain a vegetarian; Jamelia looks good with fur on her back; Nia is Asian and not afraid to ride the subway wearing nothing more than high heeled shoes and a smile (and would make a good pole dancer); and Nina needs to get a little more sun.



Most of the PETA advertisements use puns, boobs, and buns to get their messages across. The result is slightly amusing, if sophomoric: the advertisements put a smile on one's face and a stiffness in one's cock or a moisture in one's cunt.



The Maggie Q advertisement shows Maggie Q hugging herself while she stands, her weight upon her right leg, facing the camera and, therefore, the voyeur--that is, the viewer--wearing a bikini, the brassiere and bottom of which are made up of lettuce (or maybe it's cabbage) leaves strapped about her torso and her waist, respectively. The caption reads, "Turn Over a New Leaf--Try Vegetarian,: and smaller text in the upper left corner identifies Maggie Q as Maggie Q, informing the viewer that she is acting, in this advertisement, as a spokesperson, so to speak, for a PETA website: "Maggie Q for PETAPaciific.com." Since to turn over the fresh or "new" leaves that Maggie Q wears, one would strip her completely and turn her over for a little anal action, the advertisement's copy suggests that Maggie Q would give up her ass for the viewer's vow to "try vegetarian." Who wouldn't chomp on a carrot or choke down a cucumber in exchange for a piece of Maggie Q's Asian ass?



Next up: Sophia Monk. She is--surprise!--naked, lying on her right side, upon a sea of red chili peppers, her goldilocks spread out behind her like the corona of an effulgent sun. Her right forearm and hand drape her breasts, covering their nipples, and her other hand rests atop her left thigh. She gazes up, into the camera (and, therefore, into the horny viewer's eye), looking as hot as the chilies upon which she lies. The caption reads, "Spice Up Your Life--Go Vegetarian!" In the lower left corner of the advertisement, text proclaims her a spokesperson for PETA (or for one of its websites, at any rate): "Sophie Monk for PETAAsianPacific.com."



"All Animals Have the Same Parts," a third PETA poster advises its viewers, and, to prove it, the advertisement shows Traci Bingham seated with her back to the viewer, leaning a bit to her left and resting the weight of her body on the palm of her left hand. Heavy black lines section her nude body into various cuts of meat, neat letters inside of the various resulting shapes identifying the pieces as "CHUCK," "RIB," "LOIN," "RUMP," "ROUND," "SHOULDER," and "THIGH," and even those who are neither carnivores nor cannibals must admit, if they are honest, that the mouth-watering Bingham looks good enough to eat! The caption is, once again, a play on words: In lettering that forms a circle surrounding the black silhouette of a cow marked with a white Valentine-shaped heart, it pleads, "Have a Heart. Go Vegetarian." Smaller text in the advertisement's lower right corner drops the celebrities name, associating it with that of the organization she represents: "Traci Bingham for PETA."



Anyone, famous or infamous, whether on the celebrity "A" or "F" list, who is willing to appear nude or even partially nude, is welcome to pose for PETA, provided that they're hot enough to be either a Playboy Playmate or a PETA Pet. Unsavory pasts mean nothing if the one who owns such a past also boasts beautiful boobs and an amazing ass, as porn star Jenna Jameson certainly does. In fact, Jameson's dubious career in sucking cock and taking pricks up her cunt and ass make her the ideal candidate for the advertisement in which she appears. Seated amid rumbled white bedding, against a white background, a white pillow between her arms (which are thrust straight down, between her thighs, Jameson looks as if she is seated upon a cloud. Her rather unsavory past notwithstanding, she looks rather angelic, with her golden-haired pixie-style shag, despite her pink, silky smooth nakedness.



She glances toward the camera, looking as innocent as a beautiful woman can appear when she is naked. The lamentable fact that her breasts are half-concealed by the pillow adds to one's impression that she is nicer than she is naughty, but a good enough sport, nevertheless, to offer her admirers a peek at her charming charms. Amazingly, the star of countless pornographic films looks as wholesome as the girl next door. However, her career in the pornography business is apt to be known by most men and women, so her vocation helps the advertisement present its case, which is that "animal birth control" is "as easy as ABC." The text is a message from the sponsor: "Sometimes Too Much Sex (in large red letters) Can Be a Bad Thing (in large black letters)." Beneath this advisory, in smaller black text, a plea is offered to the viewer (now that Jameson has gotten his or her attention): "help prevent millions of unwanted animals from being born each year. Have your cats and dogs spayed or neutered today." In the lower left corner of the advertisement: "Jenna Jameson for PETA."



What the advertisement fails to mention is that PETA has killed thousands of the unwanted dogs and cats that people for the ethical treatment of animals entrusted to the organization's care! Are the activists more interested in the welfare of these animals or in the inconvenience and messy hypocrisy of its dual role as the advocate and defender of animal rights on one hand and the as destroyer of animal life on the other, bloody hand?



A few men have appeared nude on behalf of PETA, too. Most are tattooed athletes or entertainers, including basketball great Dennis Rodman; footballer Chad Ochocinco; rapper Waka Flocka Flame (Juaquin Malphurs); actor, writer, and standup comic David Cross; stuntman Steve-O (Stephen Gilchrist Glover); Thai-Swedish model Patrick Ribbsaeter; hoopster Amar'e Stoudemire; actor David Boreanaz; guitarist Dave Navarro; and others, but, unless you're a faggot, no one really cares, so, since most men aren't queers (I am, or I am bi- or pansexual or something, not that it matters), I am content in mentioning them for those who are interested in checking out their advertisements. However, my intent is to focus on the ladies who have bared their heavenly bodies for the PETA cause.



Next up: more PETA Pets!

