The Threesome

by itscalledhazing

story tags: con, elf, bigtits, bigdick, comedy, fantasy, series, faun,
giant

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-threesome-7


https://www.literotica.com/s/the-threesome-7

An Elf, Faun and Giant walk into a bar...

Page 1 of 2 page(s) (21404 characters)

"Halt!" The bored voice broke the silence of the cold night. A single
flame flickered over what seemed to be a bundle of fur, however upon
close inspection, the face of a sleepy looking guard poked out at the
top. He eyed the three men in front of him suspiciously before
eventually speaking, "What brings a threesome like you to Filgon?"

The man was a town guard on night duty, and despite only being two
hours into his shift, he was well on his way to falling asleep. Then,
the noise of loud bickering from the elf, faun and giant in front of
him had woken him. His eyes narrowed in apprehension, gripping his
sword in one hand and the alarm bell in the other as he questioned
them.

The guard looked up and down at the thin elf, standing at six feet
tall, he was handsome and from the look on his face he knew it. The
flickering light of the torch bounced off his long blonde hair that
fell down over his brown cloak and trousers. The elf's name was Archer,
a name given to him when he managed the near impossible feat of
piercing his ass with an arrow he had fired. His tutor called him
Archer sarcastically but the name stuck and even when he left his
village he decided he liked the name better than the one his mother had
given him and so he adopted it.

"Threesome...Threesome!" Archer cried out, indignation written all over
his face, shaking his head in disbelief he then looked at the other
two. "Threesome!" he muttered as his eyes settled on the guard. "Why
does everyone say that? Do we look like we often fuck each other?"

Suspicion was now replaced with confusion as the guard shook his head
trying to make sense of what was happening. Archer, meanwhile, was
flapping his hands about in exasperation and continued to moan, "I mean
we tried to make him wear trousers..." He pointed to the faun on his
left, "but it's like leading a horse to water... fucking pointless!"

The faun just frowned in response. His name was Bilm and he had known
Archer for over five years and as a result he became nervous whenever
someone with authority questioned them. He couldn't help but expect to
be locked up, or worse, killed. His dark brown eyes looked keenly at
the guard trying to work out just how the guard would react. In
preparation his left hand was resting on his bow that had been in his
family for generations. The faun's right hand played with the button on
his jacket in an attempt to calm his nerves.

Whilst the guard endeavoured to work out whether the elf was being
sarcastic or serious, Archer was off talking again.

"I suppose if the woman was really hot then I might be tempted to make
her airtight-if you know what I mean-but to be honest it's really not
on my list of things to do." Archer shook his head as if to confirm his
words.

"Airtight?" The word had no meaning to the guard and despite his better
judgement he questioned the elf.

"Why... why did you have to ask?" It was the giant who had interrupted,
lifting a hand from his large walking staff to massage his gnarled
forehead. The guard looked from the elf up to the twelve foot giant,
his mouth open in wonder. The giant was the final and newest member of
the threesome. His name was Miant, a name given to him by Archer when
the elf found out that he was a miniature giant and as he had no other
name, he became christened Miant.

A cough from the elf caused the guard to look at him again, "I thought
everyone knew what airtight meant! One in the pink, one in the stink
and one lodged in the throat. All the kids are doing it nowadays. Tell
you what - if you got a wife I'll be more than willing to show you!"
Archer watched the guard turned away, spluttering in disgust and
smiled.

"Urgh... stop talking and I'll let you through." The guard continued to
gag while he pushed open the gate letting them in. "And stay away from
my house!" He yelled after them.

Even before he met Bilm and Miant, Archer had used his quick thinking
and fast mouth to get out of tricky situations. He got so good at it
that his ego, along with his confidence, had started to grow which
meant that he found himself in some dangerous situations. It was lucky
for him that he met Bilm. The faun was cautious in everything and the
two of them together balanced each other out. Miant on the other hand
was the newest recruit and despite not being as clever as the other two
having him around helped enormously when they got in trouble, which
they often did.

They continued to walk until they heard the sound of the gate close.
When the sound died Archer and Miant roared in laughter, Bilm on the
other hand looked back nervously checking to make sure the guard was
gone before letting out a relieved chuckle. "I still can't believe that
works!" the faun exclaimed.

"I'm surprised by your lack of faith, Bilm!" The elf countered grabbing
hold of Bilm's head and ruffling his hair as he continued speaking.
"I've never lead you wrong yet!" He tried to keep a straight face but
his voice broke as he saw the looks on his friend's faces.

"You must be fucking crazy!" Miant huffed then pointed at a large stain
on his poncho, "I still haven't got this blood out from that fight with
those dwarves!"

"Oh come on, I think that seeing as you're a dwarf and they're dwarves
you would all get along fine." The elf retorted though quickly
backtracked. "I was just joking Miant, you know that. Anyway, seeing as
I got us all in, you two can find us a place to get hammered!"

Stepping behind the two of them, he gave them a push forwards.
Continuing to walk they soon reached the town square; once they got
there Bilm and Miant went off to find a place to stay whilst Archer
slowly walked around the empty streets. Being back in the town brought
back some good memories... well, maybe good wasn't entirely right. The
last time he was here, he was running for his life from a troll who had
managed to work out that the elf was conning him.

It should have been all different. He would have been a rich man, if
the innkeeper had kept his mouth shut rather than informing the troll
that the lion cub Archer was selling looked exactly like the kittens
from down the street.

Instead, he found himself with a frightened kitten under his arm mewing
pitifully as he sprinted for safety. Though, he mused, it hadn't
exactly been all bad news, he had exchanged the kitten for a lovely
sloppy blowjob from a farmer's wife later that day.

As he walked back to the square he found himself hoping that the troll
and innkeeper weren't around, not to mention the farmer, though he
wouldn't mind getting to know his wife better.

Whilst the elf was busy reminiscing, the other two had managed to find
a perfect place for the three of them to stay. It was a small, dingy
pub on the outskirts of the city. The area was a hive of activity
attracting the various scum and outcasts of the city all in all it was
the perfect place to make quick money.

Archer was awoken from his daydreaming by Bilm punching him on the
shoulder, "Oi! Wake up! We've found a place where your cards will be
welcome." Bilm's earlier frown had been replaced by a grin as he
steered his friend to the pub. When they got to the pub Archer dropped
his hand into his travelling coat and pulled out his pack of cards,
smirking as he did.

"Now you two do remember the rules right?" Archer looked at the pair of
them nodding their heads whilst he spoke.

"Do whatever it takes to make a distraction." Miant said slowly.

"And be prepared to run." Bilm finished with a small chuckle, patting
his jacket to check his daggers were still in place. He noticed the elf
did the same, pulling his cards from his pocket.

Licking his lips in anticipation Archer gripped the handle of the
tavern door and pushed it open. "Who wants to play some fucking cards?"
he shouted loudly to a resounding cheer from every inhabitant of the
pub. Striding inside he quickly spotted an empty table and sat down,
"and as the farmer said to his sheep 'let's have some fun!'"

Four hours later and Archer, Miant and Bilm were still in the pub now
on their umpteenth ale, they currently found themselves a great deal
wealthier than when they entered. The subtle yet constant distractions
from Miant and Bilm allowed Archer to swap cards at will, though he did
it with such speed and skill that the distractions were merely a
sideshow.

"Last orders." The rumbling yell echoed around the room quickly
followed by the ring of a bell. On most nights the two words and bell
would have been met with a chorus of groans, but tonight, there were
only three groans to be heard. "What did I tell you? I could never lead
you wrong," Archer declared, picking up a couple of coins and dropping
them on the pile, savouring the sound they made. Leaving his friends to
gather all the gold and silver coins into a bag, Archer stood up,
stretched then walked over to the barkeeper.

"Hello my good sir, do you have any rooms available?" He put on the
most charming voice he had as he beamed at the sour looking man.

The man looked up and down at him in evident disgust before shaking his
head and continuing to clear away the glasses. "When you leave I would
watch out for all those people you conned. If you're lucky they will
only frisk you."

"Oh! Now that does sound kinky!" he smirked as he leaned forward and
whispered in the barkeeper's ear. "I do hope they will be gentle with
me! I'm so innocent..."

"Fuck! Off!" The man snapped at Archer whilst pointing at the door.

"My you're a touchy ugly thing aren't you? That's a bad combination."
The elf waggled his finger under the man's nose only snatching it away
when the man threatened to lose his temper. Seeing the demonic stare of
the innkeeper, Archer beat a hasty retreat from the pub. Looking over
his shoulder Bilm looked apologetically at the innkeeper then followed
his two friends outside.

Whilst Miant rattled the coin bag and chuckled idiotically, Archer
tried to work out where they were going to sleep that night. He was
attempting to remember the streets and houses from his last visit yet
the noises coming from Miant wrecked his thinking. He was just about to
tell the giant to shut up when a hissing noise caught his attention;
looking towards where the sound came from, he spotted the outline of a
female face from the side gate of the pub.

"Pssst over here, if you want a place to sleep in then you can stay in
the stable." The female voice spoke quietly, not wanting to draw
attention. When Archer didn't move, she frantically beckoned him to
come over. Knowing there was little other choice available, he
sauntered over to where she was hiding keeping his eyes out for any
sign of a trap until he eventually reached her.

"You know, mummy always told me never to follow strangers unless they
give me sweets." He paused for effect before continuing. "Come to think
of it, I don't think she really liked me!"

"Shut up! My Dad will hear you! Look, I'm offering a bed, so you want
it or not?" She had now opened the gate, allowing Archer to have his
first look at her body. He could see that though she shared the same
thin lips and eyes as her father, luckily for her that was where the
similarities ended.

Where he had a large belly, thinning hair and bad acne, the only fat on
her body was in her full breasts and her ass, giving her the perfect
hourglass shape. Archer had already decided to take up her offer, but
now he was thinking of exactly what he else he could get.

"Three questions: First, how old are you? Do you have anything for the
two idiots behind me? And finally, what's your name? I'll need the
answers in that order please." He flicked her brown hair from her eyes
and stroked her cheek as he spoke.

"I'm nineteen, my Mum would be more than willing to satisfy those two
over there, since my Dad got so fat he can't even see his cock let
alone use it for anything, and my name is Gwen." She spoke quickly
before stopping as she saw his bemused expression and took a deep
breath, "anything else? Or are you satisfied."

He took in her body paying particular to the swell of her breasts,
"Well I only meant accommodation!" He smirked, "But a pussy is pussy."
He chuckled before calling out to his two friends, "Hey dumb and
dumber, I've got us a bed for the night."

Miant and Bilm whooped as they put the money they had been counting
back into the bag and ran after Archer. "Right then, we've got a free
bed but it's on one condition. That girl's mother wants the two of you
to please her... now you really can't say that I don't do anything for
the two of you!" He spoke quickly then turned on his heel and quickly
followed Gwen before they had the chance to retort.

The faun and giant just stood there with their mouths open, a mixture
of surprise and shock leaving them unable to speak. After a minute,
Bilm was about to go on a rant, but he knew better than to talk to
Miant. The giant always agreed with Archer, no matter how absurd his
ideas sounded. Shrugging his shoulders in defeat, he followed Archer
with Miant behind him. Creeping around the side of the house, they saw
the large stable to the side. The men were about to walk through the
entrance when the loud breathing noise forced them to stop in their
tracks.

Unperturbed Gwen pushed open the door. "Relax - it's just my mother
sleeping off her drink." She grinned as she took hold of Archer's arm
and pulled him in. Despite her assurances, Archer was beginning to
suspect a trap, so subtlety, he moved behind Miant.

"Aww, is pretty elf boy afraid?" Miant chuckled, pushing the elf
through the stable door. His eyes scanned the area trying to locate the
noise until he spotted a lump in the hay. Archer was about to breathe a
big sigh of relief only for it to get stuck in his throat as a beam of
moonlight lit up the stable briefly, giving him enough time to see
exactly how big Gwen's mother actually was.

This was torture for the elf. He really wanted to rub in how big the
mum was to Bilm and Miant, but he had to bite his tongue. No matter how
much fun he could have had, he didn't want to pass up a free bed,
especially one that came with Gwen inside it.

The mother was lying up against a pile of hay, snoring loudly and
letting out a grunt each time her head rolled from one side to the
other. Being a giant, Miant had seen several large giantesses in his
time, but even he had to look twice at the woman. The upturned nose
along with her rosy red cheeks and large plump lips were framed with
short brown hair giving the appearance of a pig in a wig.

Glaring at Archer, he kept himself from saying something because, like
the elf, Miant really did prefer to have a roof over his head when he
slept. Besides it had been a long time since he had had any sort of
sexual interaction and the more he looked at the sleeping woman for
some reason, the more he felt his cock start to swell.

"Just think of it as more cushion for the pushing!" Archer said before
dodging an attempted punch from Bilm.

"Oi!" Gwen was peering down at them from the barn ledge. "Don't worry
you two, she won't wake up." She then pointed at Archer and said, "Now
you, elf boy, you need to get up here and earn your bed." Aware that
they were all starting at her, she stood up, leaving her long coat on
the floor as she did. Giggling at the three men, she tugged at the cord
of her dress, letting it fall from her shoulders.

Their eyes boggled at the sight of her voluptuous figure, it was a
thing of pure beauty. Her light brown hair lay across her large breasts
contrasting sharply with her pale skin. Her toned stomach led to a
thick bush of hair covering her mound from the lustful stares below.

"Well..." Archer sighed, "A man's got to do what a man's got to do."
Winking at his gaping friends, he launched himself up the ladder and
pulled Gwen in for an embrace.

Miant and Bilm looked on in disgust until, unable to hold it off
anymore, they turned to stare at the heaving pile on the floor. "You
know you're a dick!" Bilm shouted up to Archer, but all he got was
groaning in response.

Whilst the two of them looked down at the snorting woman, Archer was
lying on the wooden slats up in the rafters enjoying a sloppy blowjob.
It didn't take a genius to realise she was experienced in the art of
giving head. He sighed loudly each time he felt her tongue swirl around
the head of his cock, then gasped when she took his whole length in her
mouth. "So good..." he gasped;

Grabbing hold of Gwen's soft brown hair, he gently pushed her head
down, forcing his long shaft deeper into her mouth, until he could feel
her throat open to let in the tip. Pulling her hair he let her up to
breath, waiting for a second before thrusting back into her.

Whilst she sucked on his prick, she looked up at him. Seeing the lust
in his eyes, she sucked harder. The force of his of his thrusts caused
her eyes to water but Archer didn't care, her warm mouth felt great
circled around his cock, pushing him closer to climax.

"Ohh fuck yeah..." he gasped. At that moment, he happened to look down
to the stable floor where Bilm was busy eating out the mother whilst
Miant feasted on her large breasts. Immediately, Archer could feel his
erection faulting just from the sight. Letting the daughters head go,
he felt her move up, her hard nipples rubbing against his smooth chest
until she was face to face with him.

Throwing her leg over him, she wiggled her hips, feeling his slick cock
rub against her pussy. Grabbing his stiff prick with her right hand,
she aimed it towards her moist opening and, pressing his cock between
her pussy lips. Releasing her hand she slowly began to work herself
down his shaft.

Biting her bottom lip, she felt his prick slide easily inside her,
stretching her pussy as it pushed inside. "Oh my god," Gwen gasped as
she felt his groin rest against hers. She couldn't remember the last
time she had felt so full. Gazing down at Archer, she circled his
muscular chest before reaching over to kiss him lightly as she began to
grind down on him.

Seeing her massive breasts sway, Archer couldn't help but reach up and
grab both of them in his hands, loving the weight and firmness of them
in his hands. Cradling each breast, he shook them lightly, enjoying the
way they quivered before deciding to focus on Gwen's nipples, feeling
them swell as he pulled at them.

With a look of pure lust in her eyes, she began to ride his cock, "Ahhh
yes..." she gasped causing Archer to grin stupidly. He was not quite
able to believe that he was fucking the daughter of a man who clearly
despised him.

Wrapping his arms around her back, he nibbled her ear, groaning as he
did, "Ohhh fuck yes, your pussy feels good." Archer grunted as he drove
into her. His cock twitched violently inside her as his climax drew
close. Dropping his hands to cup her ass, he squeezed the firm flesh as
Gwen straightened, allowing him access to her hard nipple.

Archers relentlessly pounding and his attack on her sensitive nipples
meant Gwen was totally lost in her own world. Leaning forward so that
her clit would grind against him, she grunted loudly, her pussy flexing
as pleasure coursed through her. Fucking him harder, she felt herself
get closer and closer to the brink of climax. The sound of her gasps
and groans each time she slammed her hips against him echoed around the
barn spurring on the elf to increase his pace.

Switching from nipple to nipple, Archer chewed on each one as his hips
rose to meet her thrusts, causing the noise to increase. His hand moved
around to her asshole. Teasing it with his finger, he pushed against
her tight opening as his balls began to tighten and his cock throbbed.

Oblivious to his staggered breathing, Gwen continued to bounce on top,
her hand furiously rubbing her clit desperately trying to get a higher
level of pleasure. As he forced his finger inside her ass they both let
out a yelp of pleasure. The invasion of her ass caused her muscles to
flex around his cock causing him to go weak at the knees.

The Threesome

by itscalledhazing (UID 1298984)

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-threesome-7

An Elf, Faun and Giant walk into a bar...

Page 2 of 2 page(s) (14086 characters)

"Fuck yes!" he cried out his orgasm took control, spewing load after
load of his cum into her warm pussy. Grabbing hold of her breast, he
forced as much as he could into his mouth, sucking hard whilst his hips
jerked wildly, coating her pussy with copious amounts of spunk.

Feeling his cum spurt inside her, Gwen grinded her hips against his,
forcing her clit to rub against his groin. Pinching her nipples hard,
she felt her own orgasm begin to take hold of her body.

Archer was starting to calm down, though his cock continued to throb.
He forced more of his finger inside her ass. Swiping her hand from her
breast he bit down hard on her nipple sending a sharp wave of pain
through her.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh...Gods!" Gwen yelled, throwing back her head. She shouted
as her own orgasm gripped her body. She fucked him hard and fast as her
pussy convulsed around his shrinking shaft. She whimpered and moaned on
top of him her hips gyrating as she shuddered before collapsing.

Falling to his side, the elf was panting heavily as his cum trickled
from her abused pussy. Gently she traced his stomach muscles whilst she
got her breath back. Looking over to the elf, she almost laughed when
she saw that he was snoring gently with a grin still on his face.

The loud groans and yelps from below attracted her attention. Crawling
to the edge of the stable, she looked down to see Miant underneath the
plump woman pounding into her with Bilm jerking on top of her,
buggering her plump ass as she shrieked and grunted in pleasure.

Pulling on her clothes, Gwen quietly made her way down the ladder. She
looked in wonder at the rutting threesome, and despite the woman's
bulk, she could see the giant's cock clearly spearing the woman's
pussy. Smiling she spotted the bag of coins on the floor and picked
them up, then made her exit. Once she was outside, she laughed as she
heard three yells from the shed. The first was clearly the woman's high
pitched squeal quickly followed by a guttural grunt. Finally, a minute
later, a loud bellow split the air, followed by a still silence.
Letting out a chuckle, Gwen continued to walk down the street, enjoying
the sound of the coins jingling in the bag by her side.

The next morning, Miant was the first one up, massaging his head with
his fingers. He thought back to last night: He was working his way
through yesterday, starting from the morning, when he got a vivid
flashback of a plump woman squirming above him in orgasm. Slapping his
head to try and rid himself of the image, he decided he needed some air
and staggered outside.

Bilm groaned in his sleep as the sound of Miant throwing up outside
filtered through. "For a giant, he really can't hold his drink..." the
faun muttered before he was interrupted by the sound of the giant
bellowing outside, "Why won't she leave me alone? She just keeps
cumming!"

"...Oh Gods no!" he groaned. His eyes shot open as the memories flooded
his brain. Quickly looking around the shed, he was grateful that there
was no sign of the woman who was now stalking his mind. It was bad
enough having to fuck her, let alone having the awkward conversation
with her in the morning. Deciding to check on the wellbeing of his
friend, he exited the stable.

Outside, Miant had his head lodged in a barrel sputtering out curse
words as he slowly filled the barrel with the drink from last night.
Ignoring him, Bilm pulled a bucket from the nearby well, drinking
deeply before refilling it again. With the bucket full of water, he
returned to the barn, and careful not to spill any, he climbed the
ladder to the upper level. Seeing Archer sprawled across the hay, he
crept up to the elf, trying to stifle his laughter as he did. Placing
his hand under the bucket he tipped it up letting the freezing water
cascade down onto the startled elf.

As soon as the first drops of water hit his chest, Archer shot up from
his sleep, letting out a yell of anguish "Ahhh! What the fuck?!" Archer
blinked rapidly, trying to get water and sleep from his eyes. As his
eyes regained focus he saw the laughing faun. "Oh...fuck off Bilm!" He
grumbled falling back into the hay and closing his eyes.

"I see your lady friend has left already, but then that's not really a
surprise." Bilm laughed as he poured the rest of the water in the
bucket over his friends head just to make sure he was finally awake.

"And from what I could see last night, it looks like her mum won't be
able to walk straight for two weeks." Archer shot back. Picking up a
clutch of hay, he tried to and failed to throw it.

Laughing, Bilm located the ladder down. He paused at the top. "Dear me,
someone is very touchy this morning." Chuckling he left the elf alone
and went outside to join Miant.

The faun and giant were in the middle of discussing what they should do
next when a loud yell and crash interrupted them. "Fucking hell!"
Archer's voice travelled around the barn, scaring the roosting pigeons
from their sleep. As the two of them tried to avoid the startled birds,
the elf appeared at the entrance.

"They've taken all the fucking money." His face was like thunder as he
punched the wooden barn, though he soon wished he hadn't, as seconds
later he was hopping around in pain, clutching his fist.

Taking two steps over to the shed Miant, punched the wood over and
over, splintering it as he snarled in frustration. "Fucking whore..."
With the door in ruins, he stared at the others, waiting for them to
come up with an idea. However, with the elf still in pain, and Bilm
paralyzed in shock, Miant took the initiative, "Alright I'm going to
have a talk with the innkeeper."

Reaching in his large bag, he pulled out the metal tip to his halberd
and attached it to his staff. Delving back in the bag, he picked out
Archer's sword. The metal may have looked plain, but it was made of
indestructible metal, and, on top of that, there were numerous eleven
spells woven in. All in all, the sword was worth more than the whole
town they found themselves in. Obviously, it wasn't Archers. He had
borrowed it from the chief of his home city, but now Miant clutched it,
giving his already impressive appearance that added menace.

Cracking his knuckles, Miant walked around to the front of the inn and
banged on the door. He waited patiently for an answer, but seconds
later he snapped, "Fuck this!" He swore loudly and kicked the door,
letting it fly off its hinges. With the obstruction removed, Miant
moved in with the other two quickly following him.

"What the hell is the meaning of this?" the innkeeper spluttered
angrily as he charged down the stairs. With knife in hand, he ran up to
the bar. Upon seeing Miant and the fury on his face, he dropped the
knife and whimpered, dropping to floor and hiding behind the bar.
Shuffling around to the cellar door, he tried to pull it open when he
stopped as the tip of the giant's halberd poked him in the head.

"It's alright Miant, I'll handle this." Archer had rarely seen his
friend this worked up and decided to intervene before Miant did
something he would regret. Moving in front of the giant, he smiled
pleasantly at the innkeeper. "Now sir, your daughter offered us your
stable to sleep in for the night which we graciously accepted; however,
just imagine our horror when we woke up and all of our hard earned
money was gone. So we're just going upstairs to retrieve it, and whilst
we're at it we might give your daughter a good spanking."

Throughout his speech, the man could only stare open mouthed, shocked
into silence and only whimpering when Archer pushed past and headed up
the stairs to the lodgings. With injustice fuelling them, they quickly
searched all fifteen rooms including the innkeeper's personal rooms,
leaving a path of destruction as they turned each one upside down
looking for the money. With several disgruntled people thrown out of
bed, numerous things broken, and several doors on the floor, the three
left nothing untouched during their search, yet still they came up
empty handed.

An hour later, they met at the top of the main staircase. Archer looked
from Bilm to Miant before nodding his head. "Seeing as our money had
gone, we'll just have to take whatever is valuable to make up for it."
Archer said shrugging his shoulders whilst the others nodded their
heads in agreement.

They split up again, yet it soon became clear that finding anything
worth any money in this place was going to be a fruitless task. There
wasn't much worthwhile and what was had now been broken.

So with an hour and a half passed since the three of them had stepped
into the inn, they found themselves none the better. The innkeeper on
the other hand spent the time gathering as many of towns folk that he
could find and assembled them in the bar waiting for the elf, giant and
faun to reappear.

"Right we're going to have to move onto the beer, Miant you take two
kegs and then Bilm and I will take one each. It's better than nothing!"
Archer's voice sailed down the stairs. The next noise the villagers
heard was the three of them thundering down the stairs. "Shit!" Bilm
was the first through into the bar and the single word spoke volumes.

With several burly axe wielding men on either side of him, the
innkeeper now had a grin on his face as he looked at the nervous
threesome. "Three things before you all die: First of all, I don't have
a daughter, secondly you've ruined my house and finally my wife claims
that a mystery man and I fucked her last night, something which I think
only you have the answer for!"

The fire in the innkeeper's eyes was burning as he ignored the titters
from the assembled mob and continued to speak. "So if you wait just
there, I'm going to get my rusty, blunt knife and chop your cock off.
I'll be back in a minute." He grinned at them then walked into the
kitchen.

Looking at the assembled mob licking their lips in anticipation, Archer
was the first to react. Turning around, he picked up several bottles of
spirit and smashed them to the floor. Reaching for the lamp on the bar,
he threw it to the floor, letting the naked flame catch the alcohol.
Immediately the flames engulfed the wooden bar. The town's men shrieked
and yelped in panic and in the ensuing mayhem the three made their
escape.

With Miant at the front, he tore through the back door with the elf and
faun hot on his heels. The sounds of bottles shattering and bursting
into flames intermittently interrupted the noise of the raging fire and
screaming villagers. The sense of déjà vu wasn't lost on Archer. He
was starting to make a habit of running for his life. At least this
time he had Bilm and Miant with him.

A different guard was stationed at the gate. Seeing the three
approaching, he went for his spear, and then stopped when all of them
pulled out their weapons and pointed them forward. Dropping the spear
to the floor, he dropped and curled into a ball waiting for them to
pass until he finally emerged.

As they ran across the farms that surrounded the village, Archer
shouted at the other two, "I can't believe how angry he was! All you
did was give his wife the fucking of a lifetime!"

"Shut the fuck up!" Bilm retorted as they all hid themselves in the
thick foliage of the woods.

Story Tags: con; elf; bigtits; bigdick; comedy; fantasy; series; faun;
giant

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