Super Joy Joy Action Team!

by real_first_time

story tags: hentai, anime, sailormoon, manga, cos-play, courtroom,
military




Funtime Hentai Brings You Much Joy.

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Super Joy Joy Action Team! - Humor & Satire - Literotica.com

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super-joy-joy-action-team

Humor & SatireSuper Joy Joy Action Team!

Super Joy Joy Action Team! by  real_first_time ©

Authors note:

After writing a few successful stories and posting them here (I posted
the final chapter of 'Breaking Jen' a week ago) I really wanted a
change of pace. The stories I've written and most of the stories on
this site are either very serious or dark and brooding.

I wanted to poke fun at erotica in my own way. You don't really read
erotic stories that make you laugh out loud.

After reading some graphic Hentai novels my thought process went
something like this.

"What the fuck is wrong with you people, that is some sick shit, who
the hell would find that arousing and in what universe would any of
that make sense?"

Well that was my inspiration. How would any of the things in Hentai
novels make sense. Under what circumstances would any of it even work.

So I present to you chapter 1 of 'SUPER JOY JOY ACTION TEAM!'

There are a few things you should know....I wrote these 7 pages in a
day. It's only the first chapter so there is no sexual content yet. My
aim is to make myself laugh and hopefully others.

Don't bother rating it yet. That would be like rating 'Lord of the
Rings' based on the first chapter alone. (Being a New Zealander, 'Lord
of the Rings' seemed like an apt comparison.)

I'm posting it here because I want feedback.....actually I need it...i
want to know if im on the right track so anyone with an opinion and
some thoughts are welcome to email (just use the contact button on my
profile).

You will find many references to Hentai characters....this is not
serious, don't get offended....it is a humorous satire of Hentai.

Sailor Moon probably isn't the root of all evil (Probably). You don't
have to be a nerd to enjoy Cos-Play or Twilight or World of Warcraft
(although I'm sure it helps).

SUPER JOY JOY ACTION TEAM!

1

Caption Shuya Ginsu snapped to attention as the court-room doors slid
open and the defendant emerged flanked by guards on either side.

Until a week ago the accused had been Shuya's superior officer, but
even before all that, the two of them had been close personal friends.

"What happened in there Nobu? What have they pinned on you?"

"No need to worry Shuya. The case was thrown out due to some
extenuating circumstances"

It had all been very mysterious. All details regarding the accusations
against Nobu Mimurra had been suppressed.

That wasn't a good thing for morale.

The rumours about the case had been rife back at 'Action Team'
head-quarters, but, now that the case had been dismissed the details
could finally be released.

One of the guards flanking the defendant spoke up as soon as he heard
Nobu's words.

"Hey didn't he just call you Shuya?"

"Yeah that's my name,what's it to you"

"Shuya Ginsu?" The guard repeated questioningly.

"Yes....for god's sake...Yes I'm Shuya Ginsu"

The two guards flanking the defendant exchanged smiles and then
suddenly burst into fits of laughter.

"Oh Shuya....oh my Shuya....oh you're so big and strong" one of the
guards said mockingly.

"What the fuck?" Shuya spat at them "What is the meaning of this
insolence. I'll have both your badges!"

"I'm sorry Shuya" Nobu offered apologetically "I didn't mean to drag
your name into this. It was Mayumi's fault. She involved you in all of
this."

Shuya knew that name well.

Mayumi West. The english cadet who had only just recently been accepted
into the most well known counter terrorist team in the world.....the
Super Joy Joy Action Team!

The team had become famous for many reasons. Their 100% success rate
was one, but their methods were often somewhat unusual to say the
least.

To understand the 'Super Joy Joy Action Team' you have to understand
the world in which the team was created.

A savage world indeed.

Society was only just getting back on its feet after the great asteroid
strike of 2079.

It was described by the people of the time as 'an extinction event',
but the human race had turned out to be a tenacious and inventive life
form.

It prevailed and hung onto survival against insurmountable odds.

After that, restoring law and order to the chaos that followed would be
the next great challenge to face human kind.

All information and accumulated knowledge had been lost in the great
calamity and it was only now in 2370 (almost 300 years after 'the
event') that some kind of normal order had been restored.

The great electro-magnetic pulse that swept the earth after the impact
had wiped clean all electronic data and modes of storage.

Even the hardware used to retrieve that data no longer functioned.

All of human history had been wiped clean.

The few people that survived did so in make-shift shelters underground.
The conditions were appalling.

When they finally emerged decades later, they found a dark and desolate
world.

The decision of their predecessors to abandon all old-fashioned books
in favour of electronic alternatives had proven to be a terrible
mistake.

The few books that still existed at that time were housed in old
libraries and museums on the surface. All of them were destroyed in the
great impact.

All language and knowledge were passed on orally and it stayed that way
until the great discovery of 2201.

It was hard to believe that anything near the surface of the planet
could survive the asteroid strike. It was even more miraculous that
something as fragile as a collection of books would still exist.

It was indeed a miracle. Surely it was the hand of god extending hope
back to his people.

News of the discovery spread fast.

In an inner region of a country once known as the 'U. S. and A', a
group of scavengers came across a buried room that had been untouched
by the calamity.

The room contained thousands of texts in book form.

Elders gathered from far and wide and it was quickly agreed that the
knowledge within those books would be used to re-build society.

The great one in the sky was clearly smiling on his people. He had
given them salvation in the form of this great library.

The site quickly became a religious shrine.

Scholars devoted their entire lives to the interpretation of what they
found in that room. The facts began to emerge and the people began to
understand.

The room was, in fact, what humans of the time called a 'basement'.

Commonly, above ground dwellings would contain underground rooms where
presumably their most valuable possessions were stored for safe
keeping.

The room contained shelves of texts.

A central table housed some sort of viewing device. The device was
worthless. Like everything else from that time, it's inner workings had
been fried by the magnetic pulse of 2071.

But.....the books....THE BOOKS...praise the great one. The books were
all safe.

The room also contained something tragic. A lifeless and decayed human
male sat slumped in a chair.

Forever after, that body would be known as the 'Librarian'.

The Librarian had left a personal hand-written journal and it's
contents revealed much about life in his time.

It was quickly established that this man was what people referred to as
an 'Uber-Nerd'.

Much discussion surrounded this term and it was finally agreed by all
that this referred to people of learning and high intelligence.

The 'Nerd Journal' went on to make references to many important events.

There were many mentions of something called 'Harry Potter' and also
something called 'Cos-Play'.

Apparently a series of stories called 'The Twilight Saga' had become
something of an obsession for the Librarian and his fellow 'Nerds' of
the 21st century.

There were also multiple references to a mysterious religion called
'World of Warcraft'.

The true meaning of those references are sadly lost to time now.

One early scribe read the 'Nerd Journal' and then promptly announced
that he was the re-incarnation of 'Sailor Moon'. Not much was known
about this 'Sailor Moon' then.

Experts agree that she was a female deity of some kind that possessed
evil powers.

The scribe started a successful cult which flourished for many years
before it was finally outlawed for being heretical.

Sailor Moon was then widely acknowledged as the root of all evil.
Anyone wishing to take up military service or public office was
required to swear an oath which renounced her and all of her evil
teachings.

Scholars also tried to decipher the state they had found the body of
the Librarian in when he was discovered. They knew it must contain some
sort of religious significance.

At his feet lay one of his sacred texts. It was a religious tome of
eastern origin known as 'Hentai'. His trousers were pulled down until
they lay around his ankles and a box containing small paper squares
called 'handy-wipes' was in arms reach.

Scholars interpreted this as some sort of ritual cleansing ceremony
that he would perform while he read and worshipped the sacred Hentai
text.

It was soon discovered that all the texts contained on the shelves were
also 'Hentai'.

It was a glorious discovery. All of society would now be rebuilt using
these books as a guide.

The meaning was clear.

The books were a collection of anecdotal parables in picture form. Text
accompanied the pictures as a guide to decipher them.

These 'Nerds' of the 21st century must have somehow known that the end
of civilisation was near.

What other reason could there be for such a collection?

They had gathered their wisdom for future generations to follow. There
could be no other explanation.

Progress and change came quickly to society and the human race began to
flourish once more under the guidance of the 'Hentai' texts.

Strict codes of dress and conduct were adopted.

It was considered a huge blessing to be given a 'Hentai' name from the
holy books, so much so that every new born child now bore such a name.

All males of school age were dressed in formal uniforms. The style was
almost military. This strict style of dress was somewhat offset by the
manner of the males themselves.

In keeping with the Hentai ethos all men adopted long feminine
hairstyles and in many cases you would not have thought them male at
all had it not been for their clothing.

For females the standards were no less strict. All hair was to be grown
long and then woven into pony tails tied with ribbons. The clothing
style was some kind of pseudo sailor suit motif.

White knee socks were mandatory. All skirts needed to be short and the
white panties worn underneath always clearly visible.

If a girl was found wearing a skirt that was too long she would be
publicly put over the knee of a town official and spanked (In the time
honoured tradition of the Hentai texts).

It had in fact been almost 170 years now since the discovery of the of
the texts and they had come to shape the very existence of human
society.

At first not everyone accepted their teachings. It was assumed that
other books and libraries would surely be discovered, but
astonishingly, none would be found for a very long time.

This seemed to further reinforce the belief that the books truly were a
message from god.

Of course there were some heretics and disbelievers in the beginning.

In 2230 the respected scribe 'Musashi Tanaka' suggested that the books
were nothing more than cheap fiction. He was banished for his heresy.

The worst of the blasphemy occurred much later in 2275 when a young
woman named Ibuki Kama actually had the nerve to suggest that the
Hentai library was in reality a collection of cheap porn that was
enjoyed by the social misfits of it's day.

That assertion was so far fetched and heretical that miss Ibuki Kama
was given the worst punishment of all.

She was subjected to public humiliation and violation at the hands of a
Hentai priestess and two of her servants, both dressed as 'Sacred
Tentacle Monsters'.

Violation by tentacle monster seemed to be the standard punishment
within the Hentai texts.

As yet no 'actual' tentacle monsters had been discovered so the ritual
had to be performed by priests in sacred costume with the aid of tools
and props.

Civilisation continued to flourish. Technology was gradually
re-discovered.

It was a slow process at first.

Scientists and scribes began to examine the old and useless technology
left by their long dead ancestors.

They were able to take apart and reverse engineer many of the devices
they found and in time their technology became even more advanced than
that of their predecessors.

It took over a century to achieve and it proved to be a momentous
challenge, but when it was all over, they had created the perfect
Hentai society.

All was good with the world. If only their ancestors could see them
now, they would surely have been so proud!

It's true that there were some great challenges in re-creating the
Hentai world of their fore-fathers. It was also true that some aspects
of the texts didn't seem to make any sense at all. But who were they to
question the sacred writings?

Biological and social challenges had to be met.

According to the Hentai blueprint, all females seemed to have very
large eyes. Their breasts too were very large but also pert at the same
time.

There were clearly some very different hormonal responses present as
well.

Medical experts quickly agreed that it was impossible to change the
size of the human eye with current technology, but 'breast
augmentation' was certainly a very viable medical procedure. Breast
enlargement soon became mandatory for those females that didn't meet
the Hentai standard.

Other wonderful innovations soon became available. Mouths were
surgically made smaller and a solution to the 'pubic hair' problem was
found.

No women in the texts possessed any pubic hair at all.

Nobody could explain why the human race should suddenly have started
growing hair in that region when it clearly didn't exist in the females
of the mid 21st century. Permanent hair removal from the female pubic
region became mandatory at age 18.

Maybe the greatest discovery came in 2305 when a medical student named
Suzuki Nintendo discovered a hormone supplement that would make the
cheeks of females glow a fluorescent red colour when they felt
embarrassment or shame. It was an important break-through.

Male physiology also presented it's share of biological challenges. All
of the males in the sacred books seemed to be extremely feminine. Also
the penis size seemed to be much smaller than the standard size present
in most modern males.

A surgical procedure to reduce penis size was quickly adopted, however
the practice was soon halted after the 'Size Matters' uprising of 2311.

(In an interesting historical side note, it's important to to mention
that over 75% of the participants in the 'Size Matters' uprising were
female. The reasons for this anomaly are still being debated today).

Mild hormone therapy was administered to all males to make them
slightly more feminine. By some biological stroke of luck, hormone
treatment was not necessary for males of Asian descent. Fortunately for
them they were already more than feminine enough.

And so, life on earth had been saved and society continued to flourish
in relative peace and harmony for decades.

It seemed that humans had now achieved that elusive 'utopian' ideal
that had evaded countless generations in the past.

But.....as always....there would be threats to freedom. It was
inevitable.

A radical new movement called 'The Humane Society' sprang up to
challenge the cherished Hentai beliefs.

Their claims were preposterous and totally unfounded.

They believed that the sacred writings had been misunderstood and that
our ancestors didn't live like we did at all.

They quoted the early heretics such as Musashi Tanaka and Ibuki Kama
and even re-asserted that society was now based on nothing more than
the sexual fantasies of 21st century perverts.

It was heresy and slander of the worst kind.

It was worse than that. It was a terrorist threat and it had to be
stopped.

By some wonderful miracle, the solution to the terrorist threat
presented itself almost immediately.

A wonderful discovery was made and the timing of that discovery only
seemed to further prove that the Hentai texts were a sacred and holy
relic.

The Librarian did indeed have one last gift to give.

In 2355 (only 15 years ago) a 20 year-old student named Nobu Mimurra
went on a sacred pilgrimage to visit the holy basement and to pay
respects to the body of the Librarian.

Being young and inquisitive he couldn't help but notice there was a
long crack in the earthen wall on the north side of the shrine.

Most of the room had been roped off to the public and nobody was
permitted to enter much further than the doorway.

This infuriated the young Nobu Mimurra.

He had waited his entire life to see this wonderful place.

There was also something about that crack in the wall that intrigued
him. It was far too straight and perfect to be natural.

It was almost as if something lay behind that wall and he had to know
what that something was.

He knew the risks. He knew that if he was discovered it would mean
banishment from society for the rest of his life, but it was a risk
worth taking.

Later that night he broke into the sacred room armed with noting but a
flash-light and a chisel.

He examined the mysterious crack in the wall and tentatively, he
chipped away at it with his chisel.

To his horror the dry wall crumbled before his eyes and an entire
section of earth fell away.

He would be banished for certain now.

In his idle curiosity he had just destroyed part of the shrine and with
it, his own future lay in ruins.

His horror was quickly replaced by amazement when he realised that the
earth had given way to reveal the outline of a large metal box beneath
it.

The box was solid with a metal lid on it's upper side.

His heart soared.

He was staring at history itself. It was the 'Librarian's' final
message to mankind and he, 'Nobu Mimurra' would be it's conduit.

He carefully wedged the chisel beneath the lid of the box. At first the
hinges protested loudly, but moments later they relented and the box
finally gave up it's centuries old secret.

The wide-eyed, youthful Nobu stared into the box and before his eyes
were 10 sacred books. Shaking wildly he picked up the first volume, he
looked at the cover and for the first time ever spoke aloud those now
famous words.

"Funtime Hentai Presents: Super Joy Joy Action Team! – Anti Terrorist
Squad – Vol 1".

END OF CHAPTER ONE.

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by Anonymous

by real_first_time03/01/12

Thanks..keep the feedback rolling..it all helpsThanks for
reading...There was a truckload of exposition to get across in this
first chapter but its all pretty light wieght and i hope funny at the
same time. To reply to one of the comments - sadly all references to
Dragon Ball Z were lost in the great asteroid strike of 2071...there's
a silver lining to every disaster i guess. more...

by Anonymous 03/01/12

Fun Reading

Enjoyable and look forward to additional chapters

by Anonymous 03/01/12

Fun read!

I enjoyed it! It was imaginative, clever and well written. Keep it up.

by Anonymous 03/01/12

Half right...

Only one problem I see here. Dragon Ball Z, not Sailor Moon, is the
root of all evil. Other than that, I like the premise. I'll be looking
for future chapters.

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Story Tags: hentai; anime; sailormoon; manga; cos-play; courtroom;
military

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