BEAUTY BUT NO BRAINS
By Rhinoman

Not many people would choose to do what I do.  I mean after all heading up the 
drug testing for a major corporation is not the most exciting thing in the world.  I 
always thought that the worst aspect of my job was that I routinely had to conduct 
unannounced urinalysis on the employees. I've never liked that part of my job, but 
company policy dictates it has to be done. The best aspect of my job is that I have 
complete control over where I go and when I go. With all of our locations, I travel 
around a lot and am in and out and then on to another location. 

A few months ago I was given an assistant. Her primary job was, as my secretary 
was to help me keep the paperwork updated. Her name is Crystal and for the last 5 
years she stayed at home as a housewife. She never really got into the job market 
because her husband wanted her to stay at home and take care of his needs. I found 
out later that she had only been married for 5 years and yet she was still only 25 
years old.  It seems her husband, who was 45, had scooped her up from a waitress 
job she had taken rate out of high school.  Apparently, after five years of this she 
had become bored and went to a 4-week secretarial school to get the position with 
me.
Crystal is a knock out and I'm pretty certain her husband didn't want her out in the 
real world. She's about 5 foot 4 inches tall and actually kind of thin for the huge 
hooters that are stacked on her chest.  She also has a tight, firm ass and well-
proportioned legs. With her flowing blonde hair and bright, sparkling blue eyes, she 
is truly a sight to behold.  The first time I saw her she sheepishly knocked on my 
home office door and it was all I could do to maintain a business like demeanor when 
she handed me her placement papers. This particular day she was wearing one of 
those scooped neck dress outfits and the cleavage she was showing, was causing a 
stir in my pants. The length of the dress really set her legs off nicely. And when she 
bent over my desk to sign some papers I could see into the cups of her bra clear to 
her hard nipples. Her tits were perfect. The rest of that first day I could hardly keep 
my eyes off her. 
As I began to learn more about Crystal I discovered that her husband had finally 
relented and allowed her to seek a job only after she threw a big enough temper 
tantrum. It turns out that in reality he never thought she would get a job anyway. 
He was surprised when she did. She said he underestimated her ability. I learned 
pretty quickly the reason he never thought she would get a job was based on her 
hair color. Crystal was a "true blond" in every sense of the word. While she was an 
ace on the typewriter, Crystal was an airhead in every other way. 
I had hours and hours of fun with her. Not only was she nave and gullible, she rarely 
ever caught on to many of the pranks I played on her. Every other guy in my 
division was envious I had been blessed with such a knock out secretary.  Once I 
sent her from office to office asking for a left-handed monkey wrench (for those of 
you ex navy guys, you know that no such thing exists). Crystal still thinks 
somewhere out there is wrench designed for left-handers like me. This episode also 
gave me a chance to show her off to the other guys. She went office to office for 
most of the day. 
After some time with her I decided to put her to the test. I recall how shocked she 
was when she learned she had been recording and filing lab results from urine tests. 
(That was after I told her that urine was in fact, "pee") If she ever covered that in 
school, she must have slept that day in class she laughingly explained. She had been 
very inquisitive how I took the samples. I explained to her that I had to verify where 
the sample came from and that some employees actually smuggled in clean drug 
free urine in containers and dumped them in the sample bottle. In order to make 
sure that did not happen I had to hold the guys cock and direct the stream into the 
cup. 
"Ewwwww," she said. "I hope I never have to take any samples." 
"Well, you will," I told her. "As soon as the fiscal year ends I expect your training to 
commence and you'll have to learn how to draw the samples."
 "You mean I'll have to hold their things?" She exclaimed. 
"How else are you gonna know and be able to verify the sample was from them", I 
asked? 
"Couldn't I just watch?" she asked.
I told her some of the guys got very creative and that I had seen someone actually 
run surgical tubing down the bottom side of their penis so it looked like they were 
actually peeing the normal way. "Nope" I said, "I'm afraid the only way is for you to 
actually hold the penis and direct the stream into the cup." 
I went on to explain that when the cup was full enough she had to pinch it off like a 
hose and sit the cup out of the way then direct the remainder into the toilet. "Don't 
worry, you'll get the hang of it as soon as your training starts" I told her. 
She took a deep breath and sighed. "Well, I'm not looking forward to that part of my 
job" she said. 
"One other thing," I cautioned her. "No one knows exactly how we get these 
samples. If they learn our techniques, I'm sure they'd figure out some way to cheat 
on their tests. So it's important you never tell anyone, not even your husband, how 
we do our jobs." I then embellished my point a little by telling her that technically I 
could be in big trouble by even telling her what I had so far. I then went on to tell 
her that until Senior Management had cleared her, she was not allowed to do any of 
this or even know how I did it. 
"When will I be cleared?" she asked. 
"I'm not sure. Sometimes the process takes some time." 
I began to get excited with my scheme and the more I thought about it, the more 
worked up I became. I had made all kinds of subtle moves on Crystal since she had 
started her job, but was always met by resistance. She was basically dense, but 
good at her job and a fucking knockout. She would go on and on about her husband, 
and how much she liked to please him and this and that. I found myself thinking 
about what a fuck bunny I had but was able to get nowhere fast with her. All of this 
was before I hit on my plan to get her to do all kinds of stuff under the guise of it 
being part of her job. The more I thought about it, the wilder it seemed. But it was 
working like a charm, Crystal was sworn to secrecy and desperately wanted to keep 
her job and prove to her husband she could do something `outside the house.' 
A few days later I told Crystal that I was proud of her. I went on to tell her that her 
clearance had just come down from management and that I had never seen a 
clearance get approved so quickly. She was excited and apprehensive all at the same 
time. Excited because she had been approved, and apprehensive because now she 
would have to take samples. She nervously asked me if this meant she would be 
taking samples now? 
Not until you pass your training I explained. I told her that I would be conducting her 
training program and that could take some time depending on how quickly she 
learned the techniques. I then told her she could watch me later in the day and I 
would run through the procedure with her and which would officially begin her 
training period. I would have to sign off on her abilities before I actually let her draw 
any of the samples. "Until then, you will be in training" I said. 
Later that day, I dug out some of the department medical books to make our 
training seem more realistic. Then I drank so much coffee, my eyes were floating.  
When I called her into my office I was nervous as hell and excited all at the same 
time. I had gone over this in my head all morning so I was prepared to make it all 
look clinical, but there was always the chance that something could go wrong. 
I had Crystal sit by my side as I opened one of the books to the full color pages that 
showed the human anatomy. "Are you familiar with the male penis?" I asked.
"Uhh, yeah," she responded, "I do have a husband." 
"Is his the only one you have seen?" I asked. 
"Mmm. yes" she stammered, her face turning red. "I was a virgin when we got 
married and I didn't want to fool around ahead of time."
I told her that her lack of experience might make this a little more challenging for 
her, but that sometimes that allows someone to be more objective in how they view 
things. I then said we would begin running through the training from the top. 
"It's critical to understand exactly what you're doing," I explained. "Are you ready?"
"Yes" she responded enthusiastically. 
I began the training by explaining that when a man was urinating if the penis was 
pinched around the middle, the flow would stop and then you could redirect the flow 
wherever you point the penis. "That's important for you to remember," I told her. 
"I remember the first couple of cocks I handled, uhh. excuse me for saying cocks," I 
quickly noted, "but I get tired of calling them penises. Anyway, I didn't pinch them 
off good enough and ended up having piss flying all over the place" I laughed as I 
told her that. 
Her blondness never ceased to amaze me. She bought it hook line and sinker. "Well, 
what did you do?" she asked excitedly. 
"Got wet" I told her. She laughed at that. 
Finally I finished my preparatory phase and told her that the next aspect of the 
training would be for her to watch me take a sample from myself and in the process 
I would explain what it was I was doing. I crossed my fingers hoping I wouldn't have 
too rigid of a hard on when we did it.
Crystal drew a deep breath and sighed. "Ok," she said, "I guess that would be the 
best way to learn the technique." 
I had to keep pinching myself. It was too good to be true. Nobody could possibly be 
this fucking gullible I kept thinking, but Crystal was proving me wrong. She had even 
begun taking notes. I indicated that she was being a great student, but that she 
would have to keep these notes under lock and key.  It could cost the company 
millions if our techniques on drug testing got out, I told her as we headed into my 
bathroom. 
I set the sample kit on the countertop in the bathroom and told her that I would act 
as if I was talking to the test subject. "Please unzip your pants," I said to myself. 
I motioned her around to my side and told her to watch everything I did and to make 
sure she paid attention. I noticed she had written on her note pad the words, `Please 
unzip your pants'. I nearly burst out laughing. 
"Would you extract your penis?" I said. Crystal quickly wrote this phrase down. I 
pulled my cock out and was relieved to see it still somewhat flaccid. I knew this was 
from embarrassment. I wasn't in the habit of taking a piss with a beautiful girl 
watching me and taking notes. 
"Now watch how I hold the cock" I told her, now determined to use the word cock 
every once in a while to get her used to hearing it from me. By speaking about my 
cock as if it belonged to someone else it made the whole process seem more clinical. 
I slipped my fingers around my cock and put my thumb on the top of it. 
"Notice how I'm holding the cock," I said. "This way, when the cup is full, I can pinch 
it with my fingers on the bottom and my thumb on the top like this", I squeezed.
"Now with your other hand, you hold take the cup and actually put the end of the 
penis into it just a little bit. If you put the cock too far into the cup, you may find 
yourself getting splashed by the force of the pee coming out". I placed my cock head 
just into the cup. Now I'll show you how this works. I noticed Crystal had ceased 
taking notes and was leaning over staring at my cock. I made the mistake of looking 
down her shirt at her marvelous breasts, which caused my cock to twitch to say the 
least. She was bent over, just a foot or two from my cock. She didn't want to miss 
any of her instruction. 
Realizing that if I got a hard on just yet, it would be hard to complete this session I 
started to pee into the cup. "Now watch as I stop the flow by pinching it off" I said. I 
pinched my cock and the flow stopped.  She wasn't aware that a guy could stop or 
slow the flow down by `clenching up.' 
"Wow, it works," she said. 
I continued, "and when I release the pinch, the piss starts to fill the cup again." I 
pinched it off and held it stopped. "Ok, the best way to learn is by doing it" I said 
with a slight quiver in my voice. "I haven't peed all I have to pee, so why don't you 
take over and we'll see how you handle it. Don't be nervous and we'll have many 
more practice sessions to make sure you get the hang of it." 
She stared and finally spoke, "are you sure I'm ready so soon"? 
"This will just be a quick run through for the first time. I know you're not ready to go 
solo yet, but believe me; the best way to learn is by doing it yourself.  You've heard 
of OJT right?  On the job training?"  I realized after I said it, that it was a dumb 
question.  This blonde was so nave she hadn't heard much of anything.
"This will help you overcome the first time jitters," I said, "Besides, everyone's 
nervous their first time," I laughed. "Just move in as close as you need to be," I told 
her. "Reach down and hold the penis for a while to get used to it. Believe me, after 
you've done this as much as I have, it gets to be second nature." 
Crystal slowly began to extend her hand toward my cock. I was starting to sweat 
bullets because my cock was starting to get firm and I wasn't sure I could keep from 
getting a raging hard on when I finally felt her hand on it. I was thinking of 
everything under the sun to keep my mind off of what was going on. Her fingers 
went under my cock and she slowly raised them up until it was resting on her 
fingertips. Her touch was as light as a butterfly. I urged her on, "go ahead. don't be 
afraid of it. This is the time to make mistakes if you're going to make any. Believe 
me, when you start doing these to the employees, you'll have to be very sure of 
yourself and not be hesitant." 
Crystal's thumb came to rest on the top of my cock. Her grip began to tighten on it 
and I felt myself start to harden. Fuck, I thought to myself. My mind raced. "Ahhh," I 
moaned uncontrollably. "You might, uhh. notice the penis getting a little rigid," I 
struggled to sound as clinical as possible. "I know I don't have to remind you that 
you are a girl and I am a guy. That reaction is perfectly normal, and nothing to worry 
about." Then I quickly added, "we'll cover the chapters on male erections and how to 
take samples from them later on".
I chuckled to myself, amazed at how all this was falling into place. "Get a good grip 
on the cock" I told her. "I will pee into the cup and then I want you to try the pinch 
technique to stop the flow. Don't worry, I will tell you if you are pinching too hard or 
not hard enough." I felt her hand circle my cock and it got harder. I began to pee 
into the cup and told her to pinch it off. Her hand squeezed my cock. "Harder," I 
said. She squeezed my cock hard, and I stopped peeing. "Ok, very good." I said. 
"Now dump that urine in the toilet and repeat the process." She dumped the cup in 
the toilet and repositioned it beneath my cock. "Put the head of the cock just inside 
the rim of the cup," I said. She slid it in and I began to pee again. "I can't believe 
how warm the pee is, she said. And I can feel the pee coming through your penis," 
She added. "It does feel like this is getting harder too," she said, referring to my 
cock. "Perfectly normal" I quickly exclaimed. Now pinch or squeeze it off again. 
By now my cock was no where near flaccid and was in fact more erect than not. 
Crystal's small hand barely circled my cock enough to squeeze. I have to mention at 
this point that my cock is pretty thick around and usually get comments about it 
from the women I sleep with.  Even though it stretches them out pretty good, I've 
always wished it were longer than its 7 inches. When she had squeezed my cock 
hard enough I stopped the flow again. 
"Now go ahead and set the container down and then direct the remaining pee into 
the toilet. You can put the cover on the container later."
Crystal held my cock while I continued pissing into the toilet. I had been curious to 
see if she would do this, or ask me to take over. I again attributed this to her 
amazing blondness, as she held my cock while I finished peeing into the toilet.
When I was finishing, and the last little bit was coming out, I told her she could go 
ahead and shake it up and down to get it all out. As if it was part of her ongoing 
instruction, she began shaking my cock over the toilet. Her shaking put me over the 
top and my cock grew to its full size. "Wow," she exclaimed, "it's really getting hard 
now." 

"That will happen," I said. "It happens to me every once in a while too, while I'm 
conducting the test." 

"You're kidding me," she said. "Well, we do have some gay employees here you 
know." 

She accepted that explanation. Her last few shakes amounted to little more than 
jacking me off, although I'm sure she thought she was shaking it. "Make sure you 
shake it well, I said. To get all the remaining urine out." No sooner did I say this, 
than I noticed some precum coming out of my cock. Not wanting to press my luck 
too far this first time, I told her to go ahead and wipe the head off and that would 
complete the class. Again, I underestimated Crystal's blondness and was pleasantly 
surprised when using her bare hand, she wiped the head of my cock off. Of course 
she ended up with a string of precum on her hand. I fully expected her to question 
why she had to wipe it off since she would have had her sample by then, or at least 
ask if she could use toilet paper. But she did neither. I painfully tucked my 
exceptionally hard cock back into my pants and told her to go have a seat at my 
desk while I finished up in the bathroom. 
I debated about jacking off to relieve myself, but decided I could maybe come up 
with a good use for a good load of cum later in Crystal's training program. I knew I 
was sitting on a gold mine. My mind was racing with all the possibilities. I figured if I 
played my cards right I could keep this going indefinitely and have a blast in the 
process. I walked back to my office and told Crystal that she had done exceptionally 
well for her first time. She actually beamed with pride. I told her that I had trained 
my share of guys and girls but that she had a real knack for the process and I 
thought in no time I would feel confident enough of her progress to let her try a solo 
test. During all of my explanation I was struck with Crystal's rapt attention to what I 
was saying. It was as if she was taking part in a lecture in a college class. 
The next day I told Crystal that I wanted her to review her notes and that I would let 
treat me as if I were a regular subject and go ahead and draw the test. Her eyes 
widened and she took a deep breath before asking if I was sure she was ready for 
that. I told her to do the best she could and I would critique her as we went along. 
"Don't worry" I assured her, "the best way to learn is by doing it. I gave her the test 
kit and the paper work and told her to go outside and knock at the office door, then 
come in and identify herself and tell me that she was there for an on the spot 
urinalysis. I told her to refer to her notes anytime she needed them and to fill out all 
the paperwork from the top to the bottom.  Then, when we were done we would go 
over her technique. She again drew a deep breath and sighed heavily. 
"Ok, I'll try to do my best" she said as she gathered the paperwork and the kit and 
exited my office. 
After a few moments, I heard a light knock. "Come in" I responded. 
She opened the door and entered meekly. I stopped her and instructed her that she 
must take charge of the situation and display confidence or the guys would know 
they had the upper hand. With another deep sigh she turned around to go back out 
the door. "I'm sorry I'll try harder," she said. 
"You're doing fine, I reassured her, just take your time."
"I'm Crystal Carter from urinalysis and I'm here to do an `on the spot urine test, on 
you," she said in the boldest voice she could muster. 
"Okay," I said, "what should I do?"
"We'll have to go into your bathroom," she stammered. 
As we walked into the bathroom she was busy reading her notes and almost ran into 
the doorjamb. Once inside, she read from her notes. "Please unzip your pants." 
I did as she ordered. "Now take your penis out," she said. 
I pulled my rapidly hardening cock out of my pants. "I notice you're getting a little 
hard," she read from her notes, "don't worry, that's perfectly normal," she continued 
to read.
I laughed to myself and was again amazed at how incredibly gullible she was. She 
had even written down my comments to her from yesterday. "Now what do I do" I 
questioned her with my now almost completely hard cock pointing straight at her.
"Uhh. err," she stammered flipping through her notes and suddenly grabbing the 
test jar and dropping her notes into the sink in the process. 
"Hang on a second.I'll now take the sample from your cock, errr penis." She 
reached over and grabbed my cock in one hand while holding her notes in the other. 
Then she stood there reading while she was holding my stiff cock. I finally spoke up 
in a gentle voice, "just relax Crystal, you're doing great. Remember to command the 
situation. First off, have me face the toilet unless you want me to pee all over the 
floor. Then remember to place my cock in the jar and remember the pinch method." 
"Oh yeah, I know. I know. now I've got it," she exclaimed. "I'll now take a sample 
of pee from your penis" she ad libed. 
"Don't forget the jar," I mentioned as she stood holding my cock over the toilet.
"Oops" she squealed. She grabbed the jar and then froze. "Your cock is sticking 
straight out," She said, puzzled. "How can I do this with your cock, uhh. penis like 
that?" 
As she said this she was trying to hold the jar at an angle that would allow me to pee 
into it. As rigid as my cock was, the jar would have stayed on my cock without her 
holding it. She tried to push my cock down a couple of times but it was as stiff as a 
board. Every time she pushed down on it, it got stiffer. It was literally pointing 
straight up in the air. I wasn't helping matters by envisioning bending this blonde 
bimbo over the toilet and banging her from behind. 
It's now or never I thought to myself. I was about to play my trump card. I mustered 
the calmest voice I could and in a very clinical manner told her that every once in a 
while I would run into the same situation. I explained in a matter fact tone of voice 
that the penis must be manually reduced from its excited state. I then told her that if 
this procedure didn't work, then she would have to wait until the penis went down on 
its own. And sometimes that could take a while. 
"As for me," I explained, "with my case load and the number of these I have to get 
taken at any given time, I usually manually reduce the penis so that I can take the 
sample and get on with my business." 
"How do I do that," She asked? 
"Well. I suppose we can cover that subject now even though I was going to get to it 
at a later date. Since my penis is in the erect state now, this is probably as good a 
time as any to cover that chapter." 
I was beginning to sweat hoping I could pull this off. " I don't know if you're a 
familiar with masturbation?" I inquired. Her blank stare answered the question for 
me. "I can use common terms if that will help. Mmm. let me think here. Manual 
manipulation, (I knew she would never get that one.) Jacking off, Wanking."
Suddenly the lights went on. "Ohhhh," she exclaimed. Then with a puzzled look, she 
asked, "You wank guys?" 
"Hey, it's all part of the job and. we have to get the sample.  The sooner I get it and 
can on my way, the better." I calmly explained that once we had approached 
someone and informed them they were to be tested, we had to stay with them until 
the test was complete. "Otherwise they could take something to ruin the test," I 
said. 
"Go ahead with the test, unless you want to wait and see if the penis goes down on 
its own," I calmly informed her. 
She stared at my cock, which she had been holding in her hand the entire time. She 
was thinking about it. 
"In situations like this, you have to explain to the test subject what you are doing 
and why you are doing it. Remember to maintain control; you are their boss until 
you get your test.  After we're finished today make sure you update your notes so 
you'll know how to handle this situation if it happens again." 
I knew full well that if she fell for this one and went through with it, she would be 
jerking a lot of cock. No one in their right mind could avoid getting a hard on from 
this babe. "I'll observe the penis to see if it gets smaller so I can point it into the jar 
and complete the test" she announced as if she was in complete control. 
I laughed again to myself because she was standing there clutching my cock and 
looking at it as if she actually expected it to shrink.  There was no way it was going 
to get soft as I imagined her jerking me off and coming all over her face.
We must have stood there for 10 minutes. Her clutching my cock in one hand and 
the urine sample jar in the other. Every once in a while she would stick the head of 
my cock in the jar and try to bend it down so it was pointed in to capture the urine. 
Every time she tried this, my cock got harder. Finally she sighed. "I'm going to 
manually wank your penis to make it smaller." 
She said it as if she was announcing a blue light special at the local K mart. Her 
small hand began to stroke my cock up and down.  My knees began to tremble. 
"You'll probably have to move your hand rapidly on the penis" I said using my best 
clinical voice. "That way it will be over with quicker."
Her brows furrowed and I tried to reassure her. "Don't worry, most of the time this 
doesn't happen, and you can get the sample and be gone in a very short time" 
She was now bent over and concentrating on her task. Her hand was a blur and she 
had stared at my cock to see what was going to happen. I was in heaven. I knew I 
couldn't hold out very much longer. I began to groan and told her that groaning was 
a good sign and was an indication that she would soon complete the test. No sooner 
had I said this than a stream of cum shot out of my cock and hit the back of the 
toilet. 
"Oops! Shit!" she squealed. Trying to point my cock toward the toilet. "You're making 
a mess," I admonished her. I could not believe it when she quickly cupped her other 
hand over the end of my spurting cock and I pumped several more long shots of cum 
into it. Then she cupped it as if it was a precious cargo. She held her hand cupped 
under my cock and continued milking me into it until the spurts slowed to dribbles. 
My cock began to soften and seeing this, Crystal reached over and forgetting her 
hand was coated in my cum, she grabbed the jar and stuck my cock in it as if it had 
been on fire. "You may pee now," she announced in a business like tone. 
She had my cock clear to the bottom of the cup and I knew what was about to 
happen, but I let loose anyway. Clenching my ass cheeks, I shot piss from the end of 
my cock like a geyser. It hit the back of the cup just as fast as it went in and came 
flying out.
"Shit, I mean oops, I mean oh no," she squealed as piss splashed all over my cock, 
her hand and arm and even her face that by then was only a short distance from her 
"work". 
"The pinch method, quick" I yelled. 
She pinched my cock so hard I grunted. 
"I`m sorry," she said. "Oh damn, I'll never get this right." 
I decided it was time to help her out and I quickly told her that for her first time she 
was handling the crisis very well. "Just remember not to put my cock so far into the 
jar." 
She sighed a deep breath and gathered her wits about her (what wits she had). I 
looked down shaking my head as she cleaned up and laughed inwardly at what I was 
witnessing.  Unbelievable! 
Here she was bent over my cock with piss all over her cum dripping hand, my cock 
her face, and my pants. The sample jar was by now coated in my cum that she had 
cupped in her hand. The jar had very little urine in it. I told her to release the pinch 
and slowly draw the sample. She did. I peed in the jar. She reapplied the pinch set 
the cum dripping jar on the counter and held my cock pointed at the toilet. I 
continued to pee until I was finished and she shook my cock and then as if out of 
habit she swiped her hand across the tip of it to dry it off. I laughed to myself over 
that and was glad she had picked that habit up. 
Over the next few weeks I had Crystal take samples every time I had to piss. She 
actually got quite good at it. At least two times each day she would have to jack me 
off. Every time she would wait for a while to see if it would go down first. She told 
me that she didn't mind the pee tests but hoped the guys were limp so she wouldn't 
have to `manually reduce them.' I managed to convince her that my hard-ons were 
mostly my own doing as part of the training program and that I was certain she 
would not encounter that many in her rounds. Besides I told her, from time to time 
we got an order for a semen sample and now she would be trained in that as well.  
Each time she would jack me off my mind raced to come up with a method to use 
that would convince her to put my cock in her mouth. I figured I would have to give 
that serious thought. I didn't want to get too greedy and blow the fantastic deal I 
had going here. Above all else, I knew I had to keep it clinical or she was bound to 
wise up. At least I was reasonably certain she would wise up. But then hell, I was 
amazed I had gotten as far as I had at this point. 
It was then that the big day came. There was this guy I knew who could keep his 
mouth shut in another division that I decided would be Crystal's first actual pee test. 
He was the biggest and the blackest guy in our company and he was always horny. 
When I felt the time was right I approached him and asked him if he was ready for 
his urine test. At first he bitched about it. I explained that I administered them all 
the time and they were commonplace.  I then showed him a picture I had taken of 
Crystal and explained that I might be convinced to have my assistant take the test 
from him if the situation was right. This peaked his interest. 
"You've got to be shittin' me," he said, "this blond bunny is your secretary." 
"Yep," I replied, grinning, "not only that, but I might be able to make it really fun for 
you if you put together some cash to convince me." 
After I had explained what she would do, he couldn't get his wallet out fast enough. I 
only charged him twenty bucks since he would be the first test and I wasn't sure how 
this would go. I told him what she would be expecting so he could act like it was 
normal. He couldn't keep from laughing when I told him that I had explained to 
Crystal that this was the way I had been conducting the tests on employees too. 
The next day I told Crystal that I was going to have her do her first test. I explained 
that she had not yet been authorized, so she had to keep this quiet and she had to 
be quick about getting the sample. I also told her that if all went well on this test I 
was sure she would get her authorization with no problems. She was excited and 
apprehensive all at the same time. 
"What happens if I screw it up?" she asked as we drove to Jim's office. 
"You'll do fine," I told her, "besides if you need me I'll be just outside the bathroom 
door. I may even peek in if I can without being seen by your subject." I fully 
expected to peek in all right. I wouldn't have missed this for the world. 
We arrived and Crystal nervously reviewed her notebook.  As Jim came into the 
room, she looked up and her eyes got as big as hubcaps. She pulled me aside and 
whispered, "He's black" with shock in her voice. 
"So what?" I asked. 
"Well. um, its just that I've never seen a black penis before." 
"Hey, a cocks a cock, after a while they're all the same. You'll do fine," I told her.
She quickly introduced herself and told Jim she was there to take a urine sample. 
Jim's eyes grew wide as he took in the incredible specimen of woman before him. 
"Okay," he responded, "where do we start?"
Crystal motioned him to sit down and informed him he would have to answer a series 
of questions first.  They went through the standard forms with Jim responding, No, 
he was not on medication. No he had not been taking any drugs, etc. etc. I could tell 
they were getting near the end, because Crystal was slowing down, obviously 
nervous over what was coming next. 
"Uhh." Crystal stammered, "if you will accompany me to your bathroom we can get 
the last part over with." 
They both went into Jim's private bathroom. After they were inside I pushed the door 
open and peered in. 
"Will you unzip your pants," Crystal said, "And please pull your penis out," she 
added. 
Jim complied. I could see perfectly what was going on because they were at an angle 
from where I was situated. Jim hauled his monster cock out of his trousers, and 
Crystal set down the kit and uncapped the Specimen bottle. She moved closer to him 
and at first just seemed to be staring at his cock, mesmerized by its length. Finally 
she reached over and wrapped her hand around his black cock and Jim let out a big 
sigh. She reached over and took the bottle and placed his cock just inside the 
opening. 
"You may pee now," she said. 
They stood there for some time. I could see her shake his cock a little as she 
repeated her command. Still nothing. 
"Just some stage fright," Jim said, "maybe if you shake it a little more it will start 
coming out."
However every time Crystal shook on his cock it grew larger. I saw Crystal's 
shoulders raise and lower as she became frustrated. She was starting to realize that 
the bigger Jim's cock became the more likely she would have to manually reduce it. 
Before long, Jim had a raging rock hard cock. Crystal told him to relax and not to 
worry. She said she would allow time for it to go down and then she would get the 
sample. I pulled the door closed and yelled for Crystal to hurry up. I told her that we 
had several other stops to make. 
"Okay, I'll be right out, we're nearly done", she yelled back at me. 
I opened the door back up a crack just in time to hear her tell Jim that she would 
have to manually reduce the hardness so she could draw the sample from him. My 
eyes were locked on his cock in her hand as I watched Crystal start jacking off Jim. 
She was bent over his cock and watching it intently as she pumped it. Jim, who 
stood nearly 6'8" tall, towered over Crystal. He placed a big black hand on her 
shoulder as she tugged harder on his cock. The more she pumped, the lower she 
bent over. I knew she was desperate to get this over with so she could take the 
sample. 
Jim surprised me when he suddenly and blatantly told her to suck it. Crystal kept 
pumping. Then he said again, "If you suck it, then it will go down quicker." As if she 
heard him for the first time, she responded with complete professionalism that she 
didn't think that would be necessary. More determined than ever she put the jar 
down and used both hands to pump him.
Jim in the meantime had moved his hand up to the back of her head and was placing 
pressure on her to bend over farther. Before long he had her lips very close to his 
cock. Again I pulled the door shut, rapped on it and yelled at Crystal to get a move 
on. Then I quickly reopened the door, just a crack to see the action. 
No sooner did I do that and look inside than I saw Jim push the back of Crystal's 
head to where it was nearly hitting her mouth. Suddenly, in what was as much a 
surprise to me as it was Jim, Crystal opened her mouth and quickly took at least 4 to 
5 inches of his cock inside. Her hand was a blur on his big black cock, jerking him off 
as her saliva coated the end.  
FUCK!!!! I thought to myself. This was better than I had ever hoped for. Jim started 
pushing on her head harder, bringing it further into his crotch.  With each push, 
Crystal took more of his cock into her mouth. Then Jim threw his head back and 
clutching the back of Crystal's head with both hands, holding her in place. I could see 
his ass thrust almost all ten inches into her moist mouth and throat and I knew he 
had to be shooting. Crystal was trying to push back against him for all she was worth 
to dislodge his cock from her mouth. Jim's ass kept hunching forward as he shot 
more and more of his cum down her throat. Crystal was gulping, trying not to drown 
in cum. Finally Jim released his clutch hold on her head and she shot backwards like 
a slingshot. Jim's cock came out of her mouth with a popping noise and she coughed 
and gagged.  Without missing much of a beat, she managed to grab hold of his cock 
again and direct his it over the open toilet so any remaining cum would go in there. I 
watched as a few little drops came out of Jim's cock into the toilet. Good grief I 
thought to myself. She swallowed most all of it. 
Crystal quickly reached over and grabbed the sample bottle and put the head of 
Jim's now rapidly deflating cock into it. "You may now pee," she announced in her 
most professional voice, like nothing had happened. Soon Jim started to pee into the 
bottle. Crystal pinched his cock and pulled it from the bottle. She held the bottle up 
and looked to make sure she had enough. After sitting it on the counter, she aimed 
Jim's cock at the toilet and released her pinch hold. He must have peed a gallon. 
Then Crystal stood there shaking his cock and again she reached down and wiped 
the remaining piss off the head of his cock and thanked him for the sample. 
"Did everything go alright," I asked Crystal as she came out of the bathroom. 
"Oh sure, she responded, it went fine." I noticed what had to be some cum on her 
chin. 
"Did he have any trouble giving you the sample", I inquired? 
"He was too stiff at first and I had to manually reduce his size," she responded. "I've 
only seen my husband's and your cock, uhh penis before, but never realized that 
they could be that big. His wasn't quite as thick as yours, but it was probably three 
or four inches longer!"
I told her that she would find some guys no problem at all, but that she was bound 
to run into some guys that needed help to get ready to give their samples. I stressed 
the key thing was the sample above all else. 
My phone was ringing when we got back to the office. It was a very excited Jim. "I 
gotta have more of that," he said excitedly. 
"You breathe a word of it and you'll never see her again," I told him. I also told him 
that with all the extras he managed to get, the price had gone up to one hundred a 
visit. He excitedly told me he would have paid twice that before I hung up. 
I'm not sure where this is going to go from here.  After watching Crystal with Jim, 
my goal is to unload in her mouth as well.  Other ideas I'm tinkering with are a 
gynecology test that we'll now be responsible for administering to women.  I figure I 
could practice on her in the instructional period and see where it leads.  If you have 
any suggestions, let me know.  She's so hard up to keep her job and do impress me 
with how well she does it, that I don't think she'll ever let on what goes on here at 
work to her husband.  For now it's fun, fun, fun!
Rhinoman14@mindspring.com


