[Various Artists] 😈 Hot Arts and Sciences 😈

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - Trading - 17

The kitchen was really only a few steps away from the bathroom.
I flinched briefly when a motion detector switched on the light in the hallway as soon as I moved in.
But then I was already at my destination and quite taken in by the brittle charm of the room, which immediately reminded me of my great-aunt Carla, who had spent half her life at the cooker, spoiling the family with delicacies.
It wasn't the same kitchen, but the style was very similar.
Practicality that they had tried to brighten up with a bit of decoration and natural materials.
I felt strangely ... at home.
I was also taken with Sean, who was standing at the cooker making pancakes and who had already set the table in the meantime.
It looked and smelled wonderfully like...Sunday breakfast!
Bizarre on the one hand, but on the other...it helped me a lot to accept my current really strange situation as “the new normal”.
He turned to me as I entered the room and gave me a slight smile.
“I see you've made yourself a little more comfortable,” he stated succinctly, without me being able to hear any judgement.
Then he moved one last flatbread onto a plate and nodded towards the table.
“Sit down,” he asked me kindly, “I hope there's something for you.”
“Thank you,” I said, “I'm sure there is.”
I was as hungry as a lioness, even if I only realised it now.
“It all looks great,” I added when I saw that there was even a small vase with a fresh flower on the table.
“Good,” he smiled and put the plate of pancakes down, “then help yourself!”
He then poured us fresh coffee and waited politely until I had sat down to join me.
He gave me time, which I used to neutralise the taste of toothpaste with a little orange juice, while he polished off his first patty.
“They're great,” I said honestly as I followed suit.
“Old family recipe, ... from my grandmother,” he returned, chewing.
“They're the best,” I chatted on. He nodded, and I immediately realised how the ridiculous banality of the situation calmed my nerves.
I carried on eating and after no more than five minutes I had finished my second pancake and was on my second glass of juice when he put his fork down and looked at me, still friendly but now more serious:
“How are you feeling?” he wanted to know, and it sounded genuinely interested.
“Better,” I replied, a little surprised, but also pleasantly touched.
“Much better,” I added, because it was true.
“Good,” he nodded.
“Then are you ready for what is probably the craziest, and definitely the most dangerous story you've ever heard?”

​

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - Trading - 18

Meanwhile, in a dingy, cold cellar somewhere in the Swiss Alps.
Nira Keithell, the newest and brightest star in the cinema universe, has spent the last two days in diffuse darkness, fear, and uncertainty.
Chained to a solid handrail. With nothing but a bottle of water, a rusty bucket, and only the damp concrete floor for a few minutes of sleep.
She has no memory of how she got here. She also has no idea who could be responsible for her abduction - because of course it couldn't be anything else.
She has given up thinking about it.
She has stopped crying.
She is a vessel filled with fear and hopelessness.
And she panics when the bare light bulb above her is switched on and the door to her cellar is opened.
A man she has never seen before descends the stairs and stands in front of her with a crooked grin.
“Now look what a filthy bastard we have here!”
“Who, ...?”
“And good old Marco can take care of everything again!”
“Where…?”
“Up, up girl! We've got a bit of work to do before you can pay your respects to Mr Frost!”
“....”

​

One more fact about the “Ramsey Project”
.

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - Trading - 19

After showering under the watchful eye of her attendant and feeling as if she had never been cleaner and dirtier at once in her entire life, Nira was taken to the next room.
A large illuminated mirror was waiting for her.
There was also a chest filled with carelessly thrown clothes.
Wordlessly, her guardian began to rummage around in it, interrupted only now and again by incomprehensible mumbling.
Nira was paralysed.
Unable to do anything other than stand in front of the mirror and wait to see what would happen next.
Strangely enough, she was less afraid than she had been in the dingy basement room.
Her companion was intrusive and had almost physically penetrated her with his piggy eyes.
But he was otherwise downright polite and hadn't touched her at all.
It wasn't long before he found something in the chest and told her to put on the blue dress that reminded her of a geisha's costume.
“Very good,” he commented on the result.
“The boss will like that!”
Nira hadn't said a word during the whole procedure. But now she dared to ask a question:
“Who...” she managed to get out.
“Didn't I say that?” the man replied in astonishment.
“Mr Frost, of course. And you're about to meet him.”

​

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - Trading - 20

Nira was then led up a short, steep flight of stairs into a narrow corridor, and from there into a cosy, rustic room that reminded her a little of a skiing holiday with her family.
They were expected.
He was sitting comfortably on a couch at the other end of the room.
“Ah, how lovely! There you are, Miss Keithell!” the man greeted her in a friendly manner, with a strangely soft, warm voice.
And he addressed her companion in a somewhat sterner tone:
“Is everything prepared as we discussed?”
“Yes, sir,” he replied eagerly.
“And you've kept your hands off her this time?” The tone became even sharper.
“Absolutely, sir! I only have nine left, and I need them all!”
“Good, then get out now, Marko. Your .... allowance is in your room,” the man on the couch finished the brief interrogation, and the man who had guarded, washed and dressed Nira disappeared through the door behind them with a “Yes sir, thank you sir”.
There was a short pause and Nira felt like she was in a film.
Only she didn't know her role, her lines or what the film was about.
For a few moments, the man on the couch just looked at her kindly, but finally he interrupted the silence with his soft voice.
“Come to me, my beautiful child,” he asked her.
And she obeyed.
She was aware of how grotesque the whole situation was.
The abduction, the terrible time in the dark cellar, then the procedure of her... preparation.
And now, the man on the couch, of whom she - like every person on the planet - naturally knew who he was.
And now she also realised that he was stark naked.
And yet, nothing inside her resisted as she slowly moved in his direction.
“Welcome to my world, my love,” he said as she finally came to a halt close to him.
“You know who I am, don't you?” he continued, with a smile that made it clear there could be no doubt.
“Ayerton Frost,” she replied, and was struck by how …expressionless, almost mechanical she sounded. She wasn't going to win any prizes with that performance!
“The richest person in the world,” she added.
“Haha,” came back cheerfully from him.
“Not quite yet,” he laughed lightly, “but that will change soon. More importantly, though…”
He paused for a moment and sat in front of her, still smiling and completely relaxed.
"...more importantly, I am the future of the world," he finally continued, sounding very convinced and...satisfied,
"And you, my beauty, can be a part of it!"

​

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - Trading - 21

“I know you're probably a little confused and excited. Maybe even a little scared. But you really don't need to be, my adorable child.”
“I'm sure you're wondering why you're feeling a little dazed too...”
“...it's only because we had to give you something so that you wouldn't get too excited about the new and unfamiliar situation.”
“Otherwise we might have had to hurt you,.... and we really don't want that!”
“Come and sit... yes, right here on my lap. It's comfortable and safe there. Then I'll explain everything to you, my beauty!”
“Yes,...ah well...that's good, isn't it?”
“Yes, sir.”
“But not so, my dear...call me Ayerton, as do all who are part of this marvellous and grand vision...as do all my friends.”
“Yes, Ayerton.”
“Ha...yes....that's right!”
“Ah....I'm completely enamoured with you and so glad you're finally here!”
“But now let me explain, shall I?”
“Yes, please, Ayerton!”
“Very good, very good, ...you just can't distract me too much with your beauty, your firm flesh and your tender skin, can you?”
“Yes...”
“Haha....well, my dear....
I know as well as anyone how talented and determined and determined you are when it comes to acting.”
“Yes...”
“But I also think I know that you've never paid attention to... the big picture, that you only really realise a few things about the situation the world is in. It's well known that you're a bit involved in environmental protection...which is a good thing, of course...”
“Yes...”
“...but you've never been interested in the why. Why is the world going down the drain? Why is the news only getting worse and worse? Why is everyone suddenly so...over-excited...about everything?”
“I… I don't know?”
“How could you, my beautiful child! You were created to reveal beauty and majesty to the world. And I need you for that.
I will take care of the dark, the abysses, for you, so that humanity can then concentrate fully on the marvellous things you have to offer.”
“Thank you... Ayerton!”
“Ah… I knew you'd like that!”

​

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - Trading - 22

“Why don't you give me one of your enchanting smiles?”
“Ah...yes...that one!”
“I have great plans for you, my dear! And you will have the best opportunities to fully realise and develop your talents!”
“Thank you, Ayerton!”
“Ah...it will be a pleasure, my dearest!”
“This world needs entertainment. Who knows that better than yourself, right?
Entertainment that distracts people from their daily drudgery, distracts them, delights them, excites them...
It will then be so much easier to realise the big changes that go hand in hand with my vision.”
“Changes?”
“Changes! People can no longer find their way! Look around you and see how confused and disorientated everyone is.
There need to be fewer, but stricter and simpler rules. Much stricter, much simpler. Orientation aids!”
“That sounds...”
“Great, doesn't it?
I will provide this aid, with the help of my friends all over the world.
And with yours, of course!”
“What can I do....?”
“Oh...you're going to do what you do best, my dear! You're going to make films! Great, fantastic films. Films that will enchant people!”
“That ....”
“And the first of these projects is already so far along that we can start right away!”
“But...”
“Don't worry about your contracts. They're mine now. You're mine, so to speak...ha ha ha...”
“But...”
“And to make the whole thing even more palatable, I've got a little surprise for you!
“Say hello to Rye!”
“...oh...”
“Haha...I knew that would work. How long have you wanted to appear in a film together? A very long time, isn't it! Well, I've created the opportunity!”
“That's...”
“Fantastic, I know!”
“Hello..Rye!?”
“Nira! What a pleasure to see you on board! I can't wait to get to work with you!”

​

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - Trading - 23

“Then are you ready for what is probably the craziest, and definitely the most dangerous story you've ever heard?”​

Of course, that was a pretty impressive lead! Especially because its menace didn't match the atmosphere in the cosy kitchen at all.
“I don't know if I'm ready,” I replied, trying to sound as cool as possible, “but I suppose you can't take that into consideration...”
“No, I really can't,” he replied, and I thought I heard a bit of pity in his voice. Which of course shook my pride. Even if only briefly.
“So,” he began, “what do you know about this project... 'Earth 2.0'?”
“Good grief! That again?” I fumed, but immediately pulled myself together again.
“I don't know much about it, but it's still more than I ever wanted to know.”
He smiled mildly at my outburst and then continued.
“You won't be able to avoid looking into it in depth. Because for all we know, you're supposed to be a part of it.”
That was an appropriate follow-up after the furious start!
“What the hell...?”
“I know...but let me explain, okay?” He interrupted me kindly.
He took a deep breath.
Apparently I was in for a lengthy sermon.
“Okay, your patience has already been stretched pretty thin, and even if we're sitting here comfortably, one thing's for sure: we don't have much time. So I'll be as brief as possible,” he began.
So as not to interrupt him, I just nodded.
“So,...for some time now, Frost has been working on bringing everything there is in terms of mass communication media under his control.
He already owns 'Visage', 'Bubble' and 'Immediate'. And the remaining platforms worth mentioning will be taken over sooner or later with the help of his friends in politics, or at least brought into line.”
He paused and waited briefly to see if I had anything to comment on. But I just nodded again, so he carried on:
“Next stop: entertainment industry. Frost hasn't quite penetrated that deep yet, but he's either already secured majorities in some big production companies, or he's about to. And that's where you join the game, ....literally even.”
I furrowed my brows,...but somewhere deep inside me, an inkling of what he might mean by that was awakening.
“Frost knows about your experience in ultra-realistic simulations. Apparently you managed this project quite successfully while you were still working for Voll-Productions. And that's why he wants you on the team for his own plans....and as far as we know, he won't take no for an answer.
He's already secured the ...co-operation of some industry giants. And nobody knows how he could have done it if not by force.”
I must have made a noise that caused Sean to pause again.
“Are you okay?” He wanted to know.
“Yes,...yes...but what does Frost want from a project manager? There are hundreds of thousands of them! Why me? I don't have any technical expertise, ...and even if I did, I have confidentiality agreements...”
He interrupted me with a short but sharp laugh:
“Ha! Seriously? Do you think someone like Frost is interested in that? You know the project, you have the contacts, you know where the pitfalls are... That's reason enough. And who knows what other ones he has that you'd rather not know about. He's a sick arsehole.”
I wasn't going to argue with that.
Sean had spoken calmly and matter-of-factly the whole time. But with his last sentence, a much more threatening atmosphere had developed in the pretty kitchen.
“Have you ever met him in person?” He then wanted to know.
“No... never.”
“Interesting, because he was one of the backers of the project you were working on. So I assume that he knows about you and that you're not a random choice.”
“Okay....” I said, shocked. I was horrified that I had become so close to this person professionally. He had co-financed me, so to speak!
The thought made me feel sick to my stomach.
“Nice, isn't it,” I heard Sean say sympathetically.
“But as scary as it may feel now, it's a stroke of luck for us, and especially for you.”
“Do you want to...”
“Listen to me,” he interrupted my brief turmoil gently.
“Ayerton Frost wants you on the team. Okay, that sounds horrible at first. But you also have a second problem, and Frost's interest in you can help with that!”
“Okay?” I looked at him challengingly.
“Buckle up, please,” he smiled and took another deep breath.

​

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - Trading - 24

“Okay,” he continued without further ado.
“Your second, far more pressing problem is the OITC. They want you out of the way. They probably don't even know what exactly you've stepped on their toes with. In any case, you know things that nobody in their organisation should know. That's enough for them to sic their worst cleaner on you.”
He paused just long enough to take a breath. I couldn't have thought of anything to say at the moment.
“This guy does his job. Always.” He gave a soft, resigned sigh.
“I work at a pretty high level. I can assure you of that. But even if I can maybe slow him down a bit, I can't stop him. Not for sure.”
What do you say when you find out that a mercilessly efficient professional killer is after you?
When your apparently well-trained bodyguard tells you that he can't really protect you against him?
All I could manage was a quiet: “Shit.”
“Yes,” Sean confirmed.
“But! There is a but! And that's where Frost comes in!”
My brain and my mouth were still blocked, so I just looked at him uncomprehendingly.
“It's pretty much 100% certain that Frost also has the OITC in his pocket and that they're dancing to his tune. But what neither he nor the OITC seem to realise is that on the one hand he wants you on his team and on the other the OITC is trying to kill you.”
I don't know why that escaped me now, but as so often, it was simply the truth:
“So basically a communication problem.”
Sean couldn't suppress a laugh.
“Yes,” he agreed, “that's one way of putting it.”
“However, there lies the possible solution to your most pressing problem.”
I returned to staring uncomprehendingly.
“You need to get in touch with Frost. You have to make him realise the danger you're in - through no fault of your own, of course. And then hope that he'll make sure the OITC puts his dog back on the chain.”

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - Trading - 25

It was another one of those moments when it was impossible for me to sit still on my four letters. During Sean's last words, I had simply built up too much reluctant energy.
So, I stood up.
And although I knowingly did it very slowly, I was watched very closely and the slight tension on Sean's face was unmistakable.
He had obviously been briefed in great detail by the Pezak about my character.
“This is all bullshit,” I said, trying to sound as calm as possible, “You can't seriously expect me to believe any of this!”
Sean relaxed a little when he realised I wasn't freaking out yet.
“Why would I lie to you?” He replied.
“What do I know?” I blurted.
“I've been lied to by everyone since the beginning. Why should that change all of a sudden? The OITC has screwed me through and through. My colleagues in the OITC can't be trusted either. The Pezak only fed me fuzzy details...and now you come up with your version of the whole shitty story!”
Sean looked at me calmly and waited to see if I was done for now before answering:
“That's not my version. That's the knowledge we've gathered.”
“Who is We?” I wanted to know.
“We are people with a common interest in at least putting a stop to the machinations of Ayerton Frost and his henchmen.”
As he spoke, he had pushed his chair back and stood up just as slowly as I had before.
Strangely enough, we then both took a step towards each other, almost in synchronisation.
“And what the hell have I got to do with it? Am I supposed to be smuggled in somewhere under false pretences again?”
I saw his face twitch a tiny bit. As if he was trying to suppress a grin. Which he managed quite well.
“Don't get me wrong,” he said, “but that would be a bit above your pay grade. What this has to do with you is quite simple: you're all about saving your arse. Nothing else.”
“Why? What interest do you - whoever you are - have in my arse?” I probed further.
Now he became very serious again, not the slightest emotion could be seen on his face, except perhaps a bit of concern.
“I just don't want anyone else to die innocently,” he said simply.
“None of us want that. Survival, that's all we want from you.”

[LmAnt] - Arrangements
.

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - What if?

---

Tanuno's note: Taking advantage of the fact that the continuation of 'Trading' only has 5 frames of 'Arrangements' and is in full development, I will post 'What if?' which is an (incomplete) story set sometime before the story of our 'Agent Clothels'. Although this (incomplete) story has no major influence, it does help us to see the story of Agent Clothels in a broader way.
(NOTE - The protagonist is not Agent Clothels.)​

---

[LmAnt] - What if? 01

I was actually already on my way to that very particular meeting, when I made the decision to reveal this…“story of my life”.
Maybe it was that quite rundown part of the city that I had to cross on my way, and the way it made me feel, that gave the final trigger.
I wasn't really scared, but the whole atmosphere definitely added some more despair to my overall mood.
And I think I wanted to explain how in heaven I could end up, ...well, where I ended up.
“You, of all people!” I hear you thinking.
And I hope you're going to believe me, if my answer was “I haven't seen that coming either!”
No-one has.
You are my friends, really, and I want you to understand why I made the decisions that eventually lead to that very particular meeting, and to everything that followed.
So, perhaps I best start with explaining the current mess I was in, before revealing anything else.
It might help with the understanding thing. It might even help you to make decisions when in a similar situation.
Who knows?
And, hell, in the end it might even be entertaining!
And “entertainment” is one of the key-words of that story.
In the end, it will definitely help me, if I'm getting all of this off my chest!
So, yeah, …where do I start?
When did that journey begin that lead me to meet Estrid Voll?
Yes, that Estrid Voll!
I guess some of you will have heard the name already.
If not, well, then this will be part of the entertainment for you to learn to know her, and for me to tell about her.
Oh,...I know where to start!
It started with that house.
That amazing house!
That amazingly cursed house, as I tend to call it now.
Let's see….

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - What if? 02

Oh, yes!
The House.
I was fallen in love with it, from the first moment we've detected it by accident.
It was old, and a bit neglected, but with an obviously good substance.
Its estate was huge, almost the size of a soccer field, with stone-old trees on it, a little pond, and more than enough space for a kitchen garden and everything else you could dream of.
It even had some of the healthy apple trees that the region is known for.
And the best of it all was the “For Sale” sign!
I still consider it one of the happiest moments in my life, when the real-estate agent handed the keys over to me.
Yes, to me.
Tom and I had a common, quite prosperous business founded about a year earlier, with me as the chief executive.
He had his hands already in a few other deals at that time, and it totally made sense to leave his name out of this one.
So, on paper, it was actually my company.
And not only fiscally, the house was supposed to be its new headquarters.
It would have space enough for our offices too.
The company – we offered logistic and production planning consultancy – was only him and me plus one admin assistance anyway.
And even though we had managed to pull off some really fat contracts, Tom and I didn't plan to change our concept of hiring contractors if additional work-force was needed.
Tom,...

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - What if? 03

Alright,
Tom.
I met him when I was working for a car manufacturer – one that you most definitely have heard of – and we were about to completely re-organize the supply chain.
Tom jumped in as an external.
He was brilliant.
His confidence was unswerving.
Yet, he had charm.
And he knew how to deal with people.
And he had me at our first shake of hands!
He had me when he firmly touched that sweet spot between index and thumb.
And when his smile left no doubt that this wasn't by accident.
We had dinner that same night.
And breakfast in his room the next morning.
And in between, he did things that hadn't been done to me in a long time, or ever.
I spare you the details, folks. Just let your imagination go wild. And I know you're very well capable of that.
Just so much as that he knew me.
Me and the spice. As if he'd read me like an open book.
He made my mind and body scream and cry and sing and jubilate without care.
And it didn't take until the end of the night that he owned me.
Seven months later, when we finished the supply chain project, he convinced me to quit my job and to join his own little consultancy.
And so the drama took its course...

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - What if? 04

Back to the house,...
The house was a dream!
Our life in it was a dream!
The house needed care, no doubt about that.
But we loved caring about it.
I did.
In a few years it would become part of the regional cultural heritage, and we wanted to keep it as historically accurate as possible, without sacrificing the amenities of modern life.
It was an amazingly expensive delight.
But money wasn't an issue, really.
We were working like crazy and our little business grew in a way that not even the sky seemed to be the limit.
And else we've enjoyed ... just us.
Goddamn...I fucking loved my life!
Until the bubble burst.

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - What if? 05

It was a late-summer Sunday evening when the bubble burst.
We've been lazy all day and then decided to work some hours night-shift to prepare for the coming week.
Aside from that – and don't ask me why! - I did something that I actually never did, because we had an external tax accountant caring about it:
I checked our accounts.
Was it foreshadowing?
I don't know.
But I found a mismatch. A mismatch of ridiculous dimensions.
It was so wrong that it could only be a mistake, really.
And like many other dramas, the tragedy started with the simple question:
“Honey, can you explain this to me?”
I'll tell you what:
You're doomed, if the answer to that question isn't an immediate bullet-proof response that explains everything crystal-clearly, but rather some variation of:
“Oh,...it's not what it looks like, darling!”
Because: It is always, always, always what it looks like!
Always!
And this looked like a gap of 2.5 Million bucks.
CRASH!

​

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - What if? 06

What followed was a violent altercation that I was sure would end up very high in my top 5 of bitter experiences.
Little did I know at that point.
It turned out that money had been moved.
Moved from accounts that we were responsible for but that contained customer payments that were actually designated for project pre-financing.
And it was moved to … unclear destinations.
Moved under my responsibility.
I recalled having signed some transfers that Tom had presented en passant.
And you don't check those that you trust blindly, do you?
Well, you better do.
Allegedly, the money was just parked somewhere else to be used as a cash injection for other projects.
Problem was that he either didn't want to or wasn't able to tell me where.
“It's none of your fucking business!” he yelled and left the room before I was able to reply, that it fucking definitely was my very fucking business, with my fucking name on every fucking single piece of paper and contract.
The next thing I perceived after this, was the roaring start of his car's engine, and when I run down to see if that was really happening, he already vanished down the drive-way.
Never to be seen again.
Seriously.
BOOM!
Within seconds, split-seconds, that dreamlike construct that I had called my wonderful life was shattered.
I just didn't know yet how shattered it was.
In a desperate attempt to do … something, maybe to save what could be saved, I ran back to my desk, tried to root down the paths of the money, to see if I could possibly move it back.
And when I was unable to find anything at all, I called our tax-accountant, ignoring the fact that it was long after midnight already.
It felt wrong when he picked up very quickly.
It felt wrong when he tried to calm me.
It felt wrong when he said he'd be convinced it was all just a big misunderstanding, and that we would meet first thing the next morning to clarify it all.
I was so exhausted, though...that I just wanted to believe.
My mind, paralysed from shock, was unable to grasp a clear thought.
So, I hang up that call, without resistance.
Somehow, I managed to find my way into bed.
Not to find any sleep, but to rather pass out from depletion.
BANG!

​

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - What if? 07

I would never find out if our tax consultant had been available.
Very early in the next morning, the doorbell's relentless ringing rudely jerked me out of my sleep.
For a few silly moments I hoped it was Tom who had forgotten his keys and was now back to explain it all.
I rushed downstairs, ignoring the flashes of blue and red lights from the outside, tore the front door open, and froze in motion.
“Mrs. Clothels? Mrs. Hanna Clothels?” A tall woman was asking while holding a shiny batch towards me.
I could only nod in disbelieve.
This was not true.
This could impossibly be true!
“I'm Detective Muller, and I'm here with officers Trueheart and Lightwood”, the tall woman continued, and I noticed how I slowly shook my head.
No, no, no, no, no....
“You are under strong suspicion of fraud, embezzlement, tax evasion and balance sheet falsification.”
...no, no, no, no, No!
“We're here to serve a warrant against you, Mrs Clothels.”
No, no, no, no, no...
“Do you understand, Mrs Clothels?” The tall woman wanted to know, with almost something like compassion in her voice.
“Yes”, I heard me whispering, surprisingly, while my mind continued to scream “NO!”
“Alright.” The tall woman seemed to be content.
But nothing was alright!
“I'm taking you in for questioning, Mrs Clothels”, the tall woman continued her procedure.
”Step back and let me see both of your hands, please.”
No, nothing was alright!
But I did what she asked for.
“You're not going to make me any trouble, are you?” She asked friendly, obviously not expecting any resistance.
“No, Ma'am”, the good girl in me replied.
I felt as if I'd shrink to the size of an atom.
“Very well”, she seemed vindicated, “so we can spare the rough way.”
Fear blended into my disbelieve.
Fear that wouldn't leave me any more.
For long.
“You don't have to comment on the issue, but if you do, everything you say may be applied against you. You can call in your attorney for the questioning. If you don't have an attorney we can enlist somebody for you.”
You hear that in movies, a million times.
You read it in books.
You have no idea of these words' impact until you hear them said to yourself.
“Do you understand, Mrs Clothels?”
I doubted it, but still the good girl answered:
“Yes, Ma'am!”
“Alright, I'll join you to pick up something to wear and some personal belongings, and then we finish this. Okay?”
My life was over.

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - What if? 08

From here on, everything went breathtakingly fast.
It was the experience of being in a movie on fast-forward. A very, very wrong movie, that is.
Detention centre check in desk.
Registration and seizure of personal items.
Fingerprints and photographs.
Refusal to give evidence.
Calling in the attorney.
It was as if only minutes had passed until I found myself in a small but tidy cell that would be my new home, for quite a while.
And only then and there was when I eventually had the first of many breakdowns.
Shame, feeling of guild, fear, uncertainty, disbelieve, the incredible pain of having been betrayed by the one that I had loved unconditionally.
It all blended in a cocktail of tremendous bitterness.
And I felt how I broke.
Into tiny little pieces.
And I knew that it would take a long time to put everything back together.
What I didn't know yet at that point was that I would have the opportunity to spend a fair amount of that time as a guest of our legal authorities.

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - What if? - Chapter II - 1

Pretty much exactly one year later, I was released from the Correctional Institute for Women in Bechta, way up in the North.
The details of the law-suit that lead to me being finally convicted to 15 months in prison plus 3 years on parole would be nothing but an endlessly boring pile of legal discourses, where no-one, maybe except for some really passionate lawyers, would be interested in.
It was a comparably hard verdict. But the common sentiment within the judiciary and in public was and still is under the influence of some massive financial frauds and scandals.
So, in the end it was only thanks to my full cooperation and to me doing whatever possible to reduce the damage that was done due to my negligence, that spared me from being sentenced with the full sharpness of the law.
Just to give you an idea: The fiscal evasion alone could have sent me to jail for up to 10 years.
Still, my brave and faithful lawyer wanted to appeal.
But I didn't.
It didn't feel as if a 60/40 chance would be good enough.
Actually I felt as if I should be rather happy with the result, considering all the things that asshole Tom had done, using “my company” as a cover and under my sleepy open eyes.
The result was, me being 12 months older and 17 pounds lighter, equipped with some interesting experiences that I'd never imagined to gain, ever.
I was released 3 months earlier for good behaviour.
And I was pretty much dead broke, except that I actually had to pay off roughly 150K in debts, before even only achieving that status.
None of this did bother me, though.
In this very moment, I felt nothing but happiness.
I was only a few steps away from freedom.
A word that had developed its very new, very own and very different significance to me.
A few steps and I could start to breathe again, without the feeling I had to ask for permission.
And just a few steps and I would be in company of the two people that meant the most to me.
Whose passion and persistence and love had literally saved my ass.
And actually everything else as well.
Andrea, my lifelong soulmate and sister, my all-time best friend and love.
And Christian, her husband, and my lawyer.
My towers of strength.

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - What if? - Chapter II - 2

The flood of impressions and emotions and feelings that came over me, when Andy took me in her arms, was amazing!
“It was about time, Stoffelchen”, she said with her beautifully warm and calm voice, and I really had to chuckle like a little kid while burying my face in her chest, trying not to cry.
It was the first time that I didn't feel that diffuse fear any more, that had been my companion during the past year.
What I felt was … protection and care; warmth and love; relief and confidence.
She felt like home; like nothing bad could happen as long as she'd hold me in her arms.
And I had that weird association, that she actually scented like all that, and I absorbed her aura, and it felt like heaven.
Even the part that came from that weird mix of patchouli and lavender and whatnot that she liked so much and that from this day on would be the haze of liberty for me.
We were standing there like that for I don't know how long. With no words needed.
Until a voice from the back dragged us back to reality:
“You gotta move your car away from this area now, Sir!”
Christian sighed mutedly.
But Andy chuckled
“Guess they've had enough of our sentimentalities, darling. And we have a long drive ahead.
So, let's wrap this up and head home!”

 

[tanuno]

[LmAnt] - What if? - Chapter II - 3

The way back was a smooth ride.
A lot of the time I was just sleeping, lulled in by my favourite music that Christian had put on, and calmed by Andy's care.
Quietly sleeping, finally.
There wasn't much talking needed.
Despite me trying to talk her out of it, Andy had insisted on visiting me as many times as possible during my internment.
I've had three hours per month, on Saturdays or Sundays.
And she was there. Every time. Three times a month. After a five hours ride, one way.
Sometimes with Christian, who as my lawyer had other opportunities to see me, very often alone.
To provide me with what I needed to survive.
The little daily amenities, like fresh clothes (no orange jumpsuit in this institute ), a nicely smelling soap that you couldn't buy from the internal shop.
Chocolate!
She and Christian took care that I always had enough money on my account to get the essentials that you else miss.
But the things she brought with her visits were something different.
They gave me back at least some of my personality, that else was completely taken away from me.
And even more importantly, she listened to me, and she talked to me during our time together.
And she talked me out of many silly thoughts that I had.
Did I mention she's a clinical psychologist?
Well she is.
She's actually working in a child psychiatry, but I guess she was educated enough in the common field that she was able to talk me back to life.
Quite literally.
That bastard, whose name shall not be spoken any more, had taken my life away.
Andy gave it back to me.
And I owe that woman more than I could ever express.
She, and even more so Christian, also used the visits to talk about the “time after”; to plan my “re-boot”.
So, on this way back... home, I found myself in the comforting confidence that no matter how hard it would be to rebuild my life, I would have a safe place to start.
And I wouldn't be alone!