-
Staff Applications are OPEN! [ Staff / Moderator ] More Info HERE Help us make a better forum for everyone!
[Melissa N.] Collection
- Thread starter alienhead
- Start date
- 3dcg
- age-progression
- feminization transformation
Kobboldpot
Member
Melissa, in general, has attractive images in her stories, but... In long stories, in general, the narrative is 2/3 idle chatter. Most of the episodes are one scene from different angles with the same dialogue:
- I don't like all this.
- But you have to and you have no choice.
- Okay. But why?
- Because I want to.
- Okay. But I don't like it.
And so in every episode. With rare exceptions. And it can take 2-3 episodes before the next stage of transformation.
2-3 episodes of sitting on the bed, sitting by the pool, walking from room to room, standing in front of the mirror, standing in the store, sitting in the hospital - a common occurrence.
Still, it seems to me that Melissa's short stories are more cheerful and varied.
Kobboldpot
Member
In my opinion, the story should have been written the other way around, dramatically. Not first the transformation, then the music, but first the music:
- He is offered to record a track. And sing it. Maybe with a computer-altered voice. Maybe some kind of work. Maybe he had an unusual voice timbre in his database or something like that, and the producer noted it.
- Then they come to him with the news that the simple really impressed some bosses. And he is offered to work on a full-fledged single. They make a fake persona, and they work. At first, everything is like a game, like a project, and for money.
- Then, naturally, the single somehow leaks onto the radio or somewhere else and it gets a little out of control. And some labels or studios start looking for that very performer.
- He almost breaks down, because this has gone too far, but they persuade him, promising a big fee. And then they start learning Korean and modulating their voice. Of course, he agrees to this strictly on the condition of anonymity and that they will not show it. That's where he signs the contract.
- Well, then everything starts spinning. They need to shoot a video. He resists, they compromise and the direction is built around the fact that the face is not visible or he is under a mask. For this, he trains to walk and dance in heels, try on different images. He drops out of life and communication, working on the video and himself. Gets to know the group. And all this time he thinks that this is for "work". And how will he end with this innocent prank, and how will he get the money, and how will he assemble his normal rock band...
- And only after the filming of the video, when the producer comes to him with the good news that everything was liked and now the "Nabi" project can be launched at full capacity, he tries to retreat in horror and simply demands his money. And only then they shake the contract in front of his nose and call him their little Sissy, especially since "look at the video yourself, how you wiggle your hips."
- He falls into this slavery. He is forced to feminize himself much more to the point of being unrecognizable. To endure the shame of his first live performance. To be sad, depressed, broken and disgraced. And then they take him to a concert of his former band and explain that everything you did was a complete failure, and in this position you are at least doing something. Look at the ratings.
- And from this moment on, his internal rebirth and constant struggle with himself and his doubts and deeper psychological processing should begin, during which he gets more and more deeply into the role and has less and less way back.
- Well, and with the obvious ending, when the tour comes to an end, he looks back at all the connections he made, all the relationships he got into and agrees to extend the contract, remaining "Nabi" forever.
Of course, this is the main plot. And in all these scenes there are interruptions to erotic scenes of dressing up, sexual situations, strange encounters, dinners, dates, going out, etc.
- He is offered to record a track. And sing it. Maybe with a computer-altered voice. Maybe some kind of work. Maybe he had an unusual voice timbre in his database or something like that, and the producer noted it.
- Then they come to him with the news that the simple really impressed some bosses. And he is offered to work on a full-fledged single. They make a fake persona, and they work. At first, everything is like a game, like a project, and for money.
- Then, naturally, the single somehow leaks onto the radio or somewhere else and it gets a little out of control. And some labels or studios start looking for that very performer.
- He almost breaks down, because this has gone too far, but they persuade him, promising a big fee. And then they start learning Korean and modulating their voice. Of course, he agrees to this strictly on the condition of anonymity and that they will not show it. That's where he signs the contract.
- Well, then everything starts spinning. They need to shoot a video. He resists, they compromise and the direction is built around the fact that the face is not visible or he is under a mask. For this, he trains to walk and dance in heels, try on different images. He drops out of life and communication, working on the video and himself. Gets to know the group. And all this time he thinks that this is for "work". And how will he end with this innocent prank, and how will he get the money, and how will he assemble his normal rock band...
- And only after the filming of the video, when the producer comes to him with the good news that everything was liked and now the "Nabi" project can be launched at full capacity, he tries to retreat in horror and simply demands his money. And only then they shake the contract in front of his nose and call him their little Sissy, especially since "look at the video yourself, how you wiggle your hips."
- He falls into this slavery. He is forced to feminize himself much more to the point of being unrecognizable. To endure the shame of his first live performance. To be sad, depressed, broken and disgraced. And then they take him to a concert of his former band and explain that everything you did was a complete failure, and in this position you are at least doing something. Look at the ratings.
- And from this moment on, his internal rebirth and constant struggle with himself and his doubts and deeper psychological processing should begin, during which he gets more and more deeply into the role and has less and less way back.
- Well, and with the obvious ending, when the tour comes to an end, he looks back at all the connections he made, all the relationships he got into and agrees to extend the contract, remaining "Nabi" forever.
Of course, this is the main plot. And in all these scenes there are interruptions to erotic scenes of dressing up, sexual situations, strange encounters, dinners, dates, going out, etc.
Elaine
Active member
I like that plot - can you write the story?
Kobboldpot
Member
Well, I am a scriptwriter anyway.
But if we are talking about TG stories, then:
1) English is not my native language. Everything I write should still be adopted by a native speaker.
2) I am not capable of making images. Especially high-quality ones. And without them, the story makes no sense.
Kobboldpot
Member
This is generally the problem of this genre: The author of the plots is an artist, who is not always good at scripts. That is why the longer the story, the cruder the plot and dialogues. BUT! The thing is that an artist can collect normal money even without a scriptwriter, and therefore the dramaturgy will remain behind the scenes. And the writer's scribbling in its pure form is generally not read willingly, because the main aesthetic pleasure comes from the pictures.
Elaine
Active member
I write TG Stories - Most of mine are posted in Fictionmania.tv
Well I would not have guessed that you were not a native speaker like me as your writing is well done. Which country are you from? I am in the UK.
Up until now I have used AI websites to create images embedded into my stories but that isn't always perfect.
Elaine
Active member
Oh Melissa was a good story writer I would say who has moved into artistic image creation. I think you still need good dialogue and thoughts to highlight the images. This latest part Melissa did is a case in point. There is very little dialogue or thoughts from the main character as she flies over to Korea. There is nothing provided to indicate if Nabi struggled to resist taking the flight or what the outcome was in the alley when the singer kissed her. Then the rest of the part regurgitated previous comic pages without really adding anything to the story.
Kobboldpot
Member
Well, naturally, I use Google Translate to write my text. I read English well, but I write like Master Yoda. I am from Russia.
Don't think that I am too mercenary, but if you take on such work as regularly writing high-quality texts and long dialogues, then it is better to have income for it. After all, I am not very young anymore.
Well, without a good graphical shell, this will not bring in income.
Kobboldpot
Member
I didn't know Melissa started out as a writer. I've been following her work as a 3D artist almost since the very beginning.
mihaluck
Active member
Melissa definitely has a knack for writing good scripts and has shown it in several published books, the most recent being Tug of War. I think the problem is that she switched from the perspective of the victim to the one who feminizes, his ulterior motives became more important than the transformation story, so the scenario you suggested, first the music then the transformation, didn't happen, although I agree so the transformation scenario and the hero's reflection could have been shown more interesting.
Kobboldpot
Member
Hmmm... Well, here I will criticize myself and develop your thought. The thing is that at the root of the story, as a rule, there is a "Spark" - the idea with which it all began. This can be some one specific scene that excited the author's imagination, and to which the author consciously or subconsciously leads his story. Actually, that is why everything was written. In relation to the "roommate", it was apparently the last slide with the proposal of a double date (although, of course, I could be wrong). And actually, when the author works on the story, he does not see it exactly as the reader ultimately sees it. And many flaws, oddities and confusions of the story often stem from the fact that the author sets himself the task not of "how to reach the goal", but "what goal will we reach". Because if you start to develop the plot dramaturgically, then it is not a fact that in the end you will be able to come to the intended scene and realize your original fantasy. This is generally a separate stage in the life of a screenwriter - to learn to do it as it should be, and not as you want. So yes: My fantasies are my fantasies, but Melissa could have her own idea that she is going towards, and that she is interested in developing.
mihaluck
Active member
Well I'd say Minji has some ulterior motives and they move the story along. This ultimately affects the whole plot and transformation and it's not a fact that it's going to coincide with what most people would want. I tend to think that most people don't like that the transformation happens in the first half of the story and then it's just dialog. Little Kitten, for example, does a good job, in my opinion, adding additional twists and turns with the feminization of other characters so that readers are not bored and get a constant dose of pleasure rather than waiting for a bunch of chapters when the plot will come to the point that the author originally wanted to achieve.
Kobboldpot
Member
Well, it's not just Melissa who has a problem here, it's almost everyone discussing the TG story. When a complete transformation happens not even in the first half, but in the first third/decker. And most of the story is already a training session for a capricious, but shy and inexperienced girl. So if you close your eyes to a couple of lines in the episode, you won't even understand that the plot is about feminization, and not about some kind of prostitution. Take this K-Pop: The hero went to the gym once, talked to Korean women once, and now he has complete facial surgery. But nothing actually happened in the plot. And then we'll watch how the aspiring idol will be planted on different producers. The situation with the roommate is like this: Everything interesting was at the beginning, and then the education of the blonde shopaholic. But I repeat, this is a problem with almost all long stories.
That’s why short stories of 8-20 slides look more concise when you see all the changes in one go.
Kobboldpot
Member
Well, we don't know how many chapters are still ahead. My roommate and I also thought that this was the end, but it just kept going on and on.
Last edited:
Kobboldpot
Member
Another thought about the advantage of short stories: They are more forgiven for schematicness and conventionality. Firstly, it is immediately clear that this is only a pretext for transformation in a certain setting. Secondly, all sorts of controversial moments remain behind the scenes, and we can imagine for ourselves how the personality was broken in general terms and what training was given to him (good examples are "E-girl" and "Strip Problems Away", but this applies not only to Melissa, but to the genre as a whole - I draw your attention). But a counter-example is the recently mentioned "Roommate", where due to the detail of the plot it is not clear how the hero managed to become forgetful and frivolous (unless he was fed psychotropic drugs in parallel with hormones). Although this is a common story in TG scripts, when the hero suddenly becomes dumb or a crybaby ("K-pop"). Again - it is very difficult to show this transition dramatically and psychologically, and therefore many authors use hypnosis or other fantasy. But in short stories this can be left to the reader’s imagination.
Similar threads
