[DesireLama] The Stream (Original HD)

@Arthur Saturnin My folder containing the first chapter takes up 875 MB. The author mentioned that the story might run up to a maximum of six chapters. That would mean a total of around 5 GB just for this specific series.
It seems excessive to me.
But as you rightly say, if DesireLama gives everyone the option to choose the version that suits them best, there won't be any problem.
@DesireLama Regarding the choice of font: the main thing is for it to look aesthetic and clear. Arthur Saturnin has already suggested some interesting options.
I imagine you’ll realize this yourself—when you look at some of your speech bubbles, doesn't something inside tell you that something isn't quite right?
Another piece of advice: try not to cram too much text into each speech bubble. I understand it can be hard to condense conversations—and you might be inclined to elaborate more than necessary—but if you want the reader to have a smooth reading experience, you need to be more concise (this medium is a comic, not a book).
You’ll improve as you learn on the go. Make the most of this moment while your enthusiasm is at its peak.
 
Arthur Saturnin said:
There is too much AI involved in generating the models.
It's glaringly obvious. There's such a stark contrast between the characters' appearance and the set design—which is just awful, with a rough finish and poor visual quality. The textures of the floor, the walls, the son's computer equipment, etc.
But human models are create from DAZ3D with Genesis 8.0/8.1 models, not from AI.

The text leaves a lot to be desired, both in terms of how the lettering looks (not very good) and the spelling errors.
He received sound advice to correct all of this, for example, via: https://www.grammarly.com/
Which would certainly be no small help.

And I find it very strange that the last page (101) lacks the usual "To be continued" or "End of episode" notice.
You're right, but he doesn't use the commonly used phrase “To be continued.” That's because he hasn't published the rest yet, but Chapter 2 isn't complete. Half of it is missing.

That said, the story itself strikes me as interesting and full of potential.
I agree with you—that’s its strongest point. But to keep the story going and maintain the reader’s interest, engagement, and appeal, the characters will need to be developed; otherwise, it would be nothing more than a series of sex scenes akin to pornography, where the story—which should serve as the underlying structure—would be invisible.

I just saw that the artist's Suscribestar account is under review. I wish the guy all the luck in the world and hope they don't shut it down.
SS hasn't verified his account because he doesn't have enough followers on social media (that's nonsense—who cares? I never go on those sites anyway, and there's no shortage of REAL dedicated sites).

Yes, he has his work cut out for him; all the settings need to be reworked to achieve a higher aesthetic quality. He needs to do his research. For example, :

Chapter 1 > pages 082 to 101
Laura’s bedroom. It’s a guy’s room, not a girl’s—and certainly not a woman’s. There’s no warm, personalized decor—women create their own aesthetic worlds, especially in their bedrooms. There’s usually a vanity table for makeup and other items specific to women. The furniture is made of natural wood, but the mirror is metal and placed on the floor? That’s inconsistent.

Chapter 1 > images 082, 084, 087
There are curtains at her bedroom window. Images 100 and 101 (Final) > The curtains are gone, and the window frame is as hideous as it is simplistic.

Furthermore, in Chapter 1 > images 082, 100, and 101 (Final)
The window is to the LEFT of her bed. Whereas in images 083, 084, 085, and 087, the window is now to the RIGHT. Could her room have windows on both sides of the bed, even though it’s so narrow between the two walls/partitions? No way...

But, he deserves credit for choosing body measurements for Laura that aren't the usual unrealistic big breasts (especially in terms of their shape, fit, and nipple placement) and big butts. At least he chose a body that looks like a real woman—the kind we might come across in (real) life. Even though, personally, I prefer any natural woman to any artificial, enhanced beauty—starting with the absence of female body hair, which is, after all, natural. (Software like DAZ3D does a poor job with female body hair, even though it has an extensive library of male body hair—which, in the end, men don’t.)

DesireLama
Also, he deliberately published his first story in this file quality because otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to get his name out there. ((Is this similar to Laura's professional life?...) He comes across as a morally honest, humble person who asks for feedback so he can improve.

I published his series here to encourage him and help him gain recognition. He’s just starting out, but he seems to have a great personality. In contrast, we have the example of Himeros3D, who stands head and shoulders above the rest in terms of quality and skill, but whose personality is completely incompatible with monetizing his talents. Especially since he has a habit of starting stories and then not finishing them and/or developing them further. (“Eternel Summer” and “Dear Diary,” for example)—even though he uses two pseudonyms to publish, he follows the same pattern. And that’s a shame, because he’s far above the run-of-the-mill creators found on every page.

In conclusion, DesireLama has a lot to learn when it comes to graphic design, aesthetics, lighting, and skin textures (like almost all authors, there’s a lack of textures—or textures that are believable for the character’s age—and this is a major shortcoming).

Regards.
Click to expand...
I started following his work on F95 Zone. His story has a lot of potential, even with the problems that everyone noticed but that can be improved over time. And it seems that he doesn't use Genesis 8/8.1 like many artists, but rather Genesis 9. He's one of the few artists who use Genesis 9 in addition to MD3D.
 
[DesireLama] - The Stream

Support artist
https://subscribestar.adult/desirelama

Original HD
Resolution: 2970x2048

Chapter 2 - Part 2/2 - 75 pages
053 > 127 (Final)

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Arthur Saturnin said:
The answer lies at the beginning of the story: She’s been a model for several decades, so she’s very attached to her image (a bit of a “glass-case” type...)—she didn’t embrace her role as a mother, she didn’t develop traditional maternal bonds with him, and she didn’t want him to call her “Mom” but rather by her first name. It’s a good idea—it makes it easier to break through the parent-child barrier.

And this becomes clear during the live stream, where she gets swept up in the moment because more than 19,000 guys are watching her on their screens and she finally (as she puts it) achieves fame in a matter of minutes. This confirms her psychological fragility and her tendency toward superficiality.
Click to expand...
While your point is valid, from a reader's perspective, failing to use the term "Mom" makes it impossible to truly experience the thrill of the taboo. If "Mom" isn't used, the dialogue could instead include phrases like "I am your mother," references to a "mother-son" dynamic, or lines such as "You are my son" to ensure the reader clearly understands their relationship.
 
Arthur Saturnin said:
[DesireLama] - The Stream

Support artist
https://subscribestar.adult/desirelama

Original HD
Resolution: 2970x2048

Chapter 2 - Part 2/2 - 75 pages
053 > 127 (Final)

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Arthur Saturnin said:
[DesireLama] - The Stream

Support artist
https://subscribestar.adult/desirelama

Original HD
Resolution: 2970x2048

Chapter 2 - Part 2/2 - 75 pages
053 > 127 (Final)

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I was waiting for the new pages, thanks.

The story seems to be going in a direction that I particularly like.

The speech bubbles could be better distributed in the scene. I believe more towards the edges, but not too close to the border to avoid clipping. Of course, there are grammatical errors and misspelled words, but that's easily corrected.

I'm liking the direction DesireLama is taking, mainly because of the quality of the characters which are very good thanks to Genesis 9, and also the lighting, which I noticed is improving compared to previous pages.

I'll even ask him if he's using Blender, since I noticed some use of morphs, like in the scene where Jake's mother is holding the pillow and also the blankets.

I hope his Subscribestar page gets approved! I really want to be able to support his project.
 
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