Hello everyone,
I thought I'd give you another update and actually give you the opportunity to know me slightly better. I'm Horadriel, I am 34 years old, and I am a german transwoman.
Back when I first started releasing stories, I wasn't even out yet. I have always suffered from bad mental health, partly because I was suppressing a part of myself since back when puberty began and always knew better. Why? Well, my family mostly consists of right-wing people, and I was scared of losing them. There are more dumb reasons than that, but I don't want to get toooo private
.
There are 2 main reasons why I finally managed to break free from my shackles 2 years ago. 1) My best friend made me feel safe enough in order to tell her. Once that happened and she didn't reject me, an avalanche broke loose. The dschini was out of the bottle. 2) All of you. I can not stress this enough. This entire hobby started as a compensating mechanism and a way to prove myself. It was a device to boost my self-esteem and somewhat live out some of my sexual fantasies. It provided me with a lot more than any money could have ever given me. But the more I wrote, the more I released, the more serious my stories got. I started to actually put some of my actual emotional struggles into the comics, not just some fetishized stuff. I actually allowed myself to feel some of my suppressed feelings in order to write better, lol. Without all of you, I never would have gotten to the point where I was ready to share this with my best friend.
This year was rough. In August of 2025, two of my siblings and my father distanced themselves from me, since they couldn't live with me being trans. Throughout the year, I was still trying to comprehend what happened and tried to mourn and get used to my loss. Most of my recent mental health struggles that kept me from writing originated from that. Since then, the situation with my family has worsened, but at least it has gotten more stable.
But there are also a few other reasons why I currently struggle to write anything. One of them is a good thing. HRT is working. It has done wonders for me already, although at this point it has not even been a year. I've never liked the way I looked before. I still need to get used to that feeling, and there is still room for improvement, but damn, does that feel good! I never knew, lol ❤ !
However, HRT has also decreased my libido
. Horniness has always helped with writing, lol
. Even if there is energy, I often just am not interested in writing kinky stuff anymore
. Since I can now more or less live my life as a woman, the need to compensate has also decreased.
Does that mean there is no hope of me ever coming back? Nope. I still want to return. It's probably going to be some more short stories in the beginning, and I also want to continue with Pokemon: Eclipse, since the entire plot has already been planned and I just want to get it done, even if it may take me another 20 chapters or so.
Oh yeah, and also: FACE REVEAL! WOOP WOOP!
. It's a coincidence. (Although I have dipped my toes into those as well
. I want to Combat the rightwing claim that transpeople have only become a thing in the past century, even though we have had documented cases from thousands of years ago.
. It's the porn your parents would want you to consume
! The Exchange with you guys has meant a whole lot to me and I can't express how thankful I am for you guys and gals 
