[Various artists] 🎱 The refuge of my Western

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - Nippy

The origins of many of the festivities celebrated in Pokeham are often lost in history’s mist. But at least one, Nippage Night, has some basis in fact.
It is said that many centuries ago the village suffered a terrible winter famine which, combined with icy cold weather, led to much misery and distress. One villager remained immune to the general anguish, however – old Granny Frugglenuts. The ancient crone lived at the edge of Pokeham in a squalid hovel, but she owned two cows, and scraped a living by selling milk, butter and cream to her neighbours.
It was already accepted with resignation that the mean old witch would regularly water down the milk – but the villagers reacted with fury when, at the height of the general hunger, Granny Frugglenuts increased her prices!
Their righteous fury knew no bounds. The old woman was dragged from her cottage and pulled through the village streets – by her nips, while being whacked on the arse with birch branches as a punishment.
Nippage Night is still enjoyed every December. It is the custom to nominate a village matron to play the part of Granny Frugglenuts, and this year that honour falls to the fragrant Mrs Sally Bottomley. She’s not at all happy about it, either!
Not only has she been very cruelly tied, she is expected to hop, hop, hop around the village while the beastly rustics beat her on the bottom with nasty twigs, to say nothing about being pulled hither and thither by the nips! Worse still, at the end of the procession, they cover her with whipped cream - and proceed to lick it off her naked body! Oh the depravity!
Still, she gets free cream cakes from the village bakery for the rest of the year as a reward! So that’s all right then!

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - Footage

In the Sunset Home for Aged Gentlefolk where Poppy volunteers there’s an old fellow called Harvey. Apparently he used to be a big shot film producer in Hollywood! And guess what? He says he can get Poppy into the movies!
He’s got a jolly clever script and everything! And because he’s such an expert, he doesn’t need a crew or expensive film units, just his mobile phone!
Poppy hasn’t got many lines, but has plenty of action. The script calls for her to be naked for most of the time, but Harvey says it’s all completely necessary – and anyway, it’s ART!!
And she has to be tied up, too! A proper Hollywood damsel in distress, Harvey says. Oh how exciting!
Today Harvey is filming a scene called “Sausage” in which she has to close her eyes and suck on a big, hot sausage – for ages and ages!
It’s awfully hot, hard and rather messy work, and she has to suck and chomp and nibble until Harvey is completely satisfied. But just imagine – Poppy the film star!

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - Nancy's nips

Even visitors who do their homework about Pokeham’s peculiar bye-laws sometimes miss vital pieces of information.
Take young Nancy here – she was well aware of the rules about not wearing denim, or tights, or red heels on a Sunday. But somehow she missed the one about the wearing of brassieres in public.
No sooner had the young lady pulled on her t-shirt and gone for a walk than the village was ablaze with rumours of “Nancy’s nipples”. According to onlookers, her impressive boobs were “bouncing hither and thither like two fat ferrets in a sack!”
Word soon reached the local magistrates who acted swiftly, finding the poor wench guilty, and sentencing her to 20 lashes of the bull whip! Rather harsh for a first offence, I think.
Fogey Allsop, known locally as Fogey the Flogger, was quickly called into action. He was busy oiling his collection of long whips in the village dungeons when the local constable arrived, dragging the reluctant tourist behind him.
Fogey soon had the girl stripped off, bound and gagged, and clamped in his infamous cradle, dangling from the ceiling.
He only had to flay the girl 20 times, but he is a master of his art, and knows the importance of proper preparations!! It was going to be a long afternoon for Nancy!

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - Goosey

What’s this in Barney the butcher’s window? I’m glad you ask.
Every December the local butcher shop holds a “Guess the weight of the Christmas Goose” competition. Obviously, he doesn’t use a real goose because that would be much too cruel!
Instead he’s persuaded young teacher Miss Poppy Tupper to be this year’s juicy goosey. So here she is, all freshly plucked and neatly trussed and lying on the butcher’s slab, ready to be weighed.
Quite an enthusiastic crowd has gathered outside the window to watch the goose wriggle and gyrate as Barney’s fat fingers prod and poke, squeeze and fondle all that succulent flesh. Poppy was actually squawking quite a lot before Barney stuffed a big apple in her mouth to shut the silly creature up!
Everyone buys tickets to guess the weight of the luscious bird!
“You don’t get many of them to the pound,” says one old fellow, pointing at Poppy’s big knockers! Another suggests that the “goose” is looking particularly well-fed, not to say a bit hefty! Rude! Do you know, a scuffle actually broke out over preferences for breast or leg or thigh! Steady on, chaps. There’s enough for everyone!
And the winner? Well, obviously, they get the honour of stuffing the goose for hours and hours! Oh what larks they have in the Yuletide season in Pokeham!

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - The janitor

Another tale from Poppy Tupper’s schooldays:
The caretaker, or janitor, at Tyedown Ladies College in the sleepy village of Shaftem Ruffly, was a kindly old gentleman called Mr Winkle. Even though the pay was rubbish, he never complained as he toiled away, working his poor old fingers to the bone, surrounded by giggling, pneumatic schoolgirls, with their long legs and perky boobs.
Of course, the girls tormented him terribly, giving him the nickname “Curly”. This was nothing to do with his flowing locks, apparently – but rather a reference to the unusual shape of his willy!
Naturally, this was a blatant untruth. And Curly was determined to find the girl who’d invented this awful lie. One after another, he invited each sixth-form girl down to his dingy cellar room, to be closely interrogated.
Every single girl gave up the same name: “It was Poppy Tupper!" they said.
So today, Curly has Poppy tightly bound to a wooden bollard which has been firmly cemented into the flagstones. And now, he’s going to give her a stern talking-to! I think.

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - The rule breaker

The Further Adventures of Poppy at school:
Some people think Poppy was a model pupil – a bit of a swot and a goody-two-shoes. Far from it, dear reader! Poppy was actually very rebellious at times.
There were strict uniform rules at Tyedown Ladies College in the village of Shaftem Ruffly – and Poppy was forever breaking them.
Despite the regular punishment, she simply didn’t learn! Take this picture, for instance. Poppy knew that the school regulations insisted the girls had to wear light tan stockings, but when her mischievous Uncle Ernie sent her a pair of dark, slinky nylons, the silly girl just couldn’t resist.
She slipped them on and brazenly strode around the school in her six-inch heels, her silky legs swishing with every step! It wasn’t long before she was reported to the headmistress, who took a very dim view of Poppy’s behaviour!
The head gave her a jolly hard spanking before uttering those dread words - “So you like shiny things, Miss Tupper? Well, maybe these pretty nipple clamps will suit you! Off you go to the Naughty Stool, you little madam!”
So Poppy spent the rest of the very cold day on public display at the school gates, stripped to just her heels and stockings, with her hot bottom uncomfortably strapped to a cold metal stool. Do you think she’ll break the rules again? I think she might, you know!

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - Dirk's damsel

Meet Dirk Wang, the famous television naturalist and all-round action man! He’s giving an exciting talk to the locals in Pokeham Village Hall, entitled “How to catch wild animals!”
Clearly, there isn’t much in the way of dangerous wildlife in Pokeham, but never fear! Dirk has had an idea. He’s spotted a particularly fine female specimen – sitting in the front row of the audience. Yes! It’s our very own Miss Poppy Tupper!
“First,” Dirk whispers, in his husky voice, “we must carefully creep up on our prey. The female of the species can be highly dangerous if approached incorrectly!”
Poppy is watching the muscled hero intently – but still doesn’t realise that he’s creeping up on her! Silly girl! In a flurry of flailing arms and legs, Dirk grapples expertly with his nubile quarry, and very soon has her firmly gripped and thrown over his manly shoulders.
The villagers cheer as he carries the wriggling bungle up on stage where he skilfully strips every stitch of clothing from his squealing captive, before roping her up and dangling her from a handy ceiling hook!
Dirk then takes his time demonstrating the many ways to subdue a captive creature, finishing the presentation with an energetic spanking of Poppy’s helplessly exposed bum!
What a fascinating insight into the thrilling world of a TV legend. The eager audience give the fellow a big hand – which by coincidence is exactly what he’s just given Poppy!

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - Tickling stump

On the common land at the edge of the village of Pokeham stands an old dead tree which is known locally as the Tickling Stump – a peculiar name, don’t you think? What on earth is its purpose, I hear you ask.
Well, for the gentlemen of the village nothing is more important than the contentment of their womenfolk. They are, indeed, a most caring lot! If they spy a pretty lady looking, shall we say, slightly glum, they spring into action.
How do they “cheer up” the ladies? Well, they grab hold of them, er, tenderly, and remove their clothing. It may be too tight or uncomfortable, after all! The chaps gently rope the gloomy lass to the old stump. Then they tickle her socks off!!
Oh, it’s such a heart-warming sight to see a formerly sullen sweetie wriggling and writhing in uncontrolled joy and rapture, and hear her muffled shrieking and squealing as a lusty lad’s fingers play up and down the backs of her soft thighs!
It fair brings a happy smile to all faces!

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - The coach

When Katie Perkins, the buxom Pokeham divorcee, decided to engage the services of a personal fitness coach, she just wanted to get a little bit healthier.
The coach, a sprightly bald chap called Willy Smacker, was mightily keen to get down to work straightaway. “Get yer kit off, luv!” he boomed, as Katie entered the gym.
Katie supposed he wanted to get an idea of her general “shape” – which was true, but she was puzzled when he suggested she should leave her stockings and heels on!
Then the eager little fellow strapped her to a small table before fetching out a table tennis bat. Katie was just about to say that the table didn’t seem big enough to play table tennis on, when the coach rudely taped her pretty mouth shut!
“Now,” he growled. “Let’s see if we can work off some of that fat on those plump buttocks and thighs!”

​

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - Duty sergeant

Humpshire Police are determined to attract more female officers to their ranks. They’ve been stung by criticism that the Force is a nest of misogynistic laddishness in which young women recruits are subjected to all manner of humiliations!
Somehow, I don’t think the Pokeham station has got the memo.
Here we see Desk Sergeant Dick Ramrod conducting a disciplinary hearing with young WPC Katie! He noticed that the girl had a ladder in her dark stockings, and drew her attention to the rules – and more particularly, the penalties for such poor presentation.
Katie has had most of her uniform removed, and been tightly roped. Now the sergeant has put her over his lap and is preparing to deliver a hard spanking!
I really don’t know why he needs his truncheon!

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - Tickling stump

Oh no! That silly Poppy Tupper is in trouble again! She’s only been stomping all over the village cricket pitch in her stilettos!!
Didn’t she realise she’d get into big trouble for such wanton vandalism? The Pokeham first XI were distraught!
Honestly, tickling punishment is too, too lenient, I hear you protest.
Ah yes, but didn’t you know? Pokeham is home to a very rare species of rodent – the Muffnuzzler Mouse; a charming little creature with most peculiar habits. If you can leave her tootsies alone for five minutes, you’ll see for yourself!
Honestly, I promise you - you'll never have seen someone giggling, wriggling and writhing so hysterically!

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - Appreciation Day

This is an early piece in my "blackboard" series of pictures, describing Miss Poppy's experiences as a trainee teacher in a classroom full of hulking adolescent thugs who delighted in embarrassing the girl!
The crafty buggers presented her with a little award. For a moment, poor Pops was so tearfully overcome with gratitude that she failed to notice the handcuffs being slipped onto her wrists, or the old school tie which bound her ankles! By then, of course, some greasy yob had slipped her silky knickers off, too!
After that, the lads showed their "appreciation" of their nubile "teecha" with a mass molestation of squidging, squeezing, prodding, probing, and pumping!

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - Pillory capers

[Here’s another snapshot in the daily life of folk in Pokeham-in-the-Hole, that quaint English backwater, set in the remote, rolling hills of deepest Humpshire.]

I see Mrs Katie Perkins, the fragrant divorcee who lives in Tottyhollow Cottage on the edge of Pokeham, is in trouble again. Seems there was a complaint of a noisy “sex party” at her cottage - and we all know that the prudish village matrons don’t like that sort of thing.
The voluptuous Mrs P was quickly arraigned on a charge of lascivious behaviour, and outraging public decency. And even though she protested that the so-called orgy was, in fact, a rather sedate barbeque with a few friends, she was summarily convicted and sentenced to 24 hours in the infamous breast clamp pillory on the village green!
So here she is, as darkness falls over the village, uncomfortably bound, gagged and fastened into this cunning contraption.
To deviate for a moment - I’ll bet you didn’t know that Poppy Tupper, the local teacher, has a brother by the name of Rami. Not a brother, exactly - apparently Poppy’s mummy and daddy, being soft-hearted liberal types, adopted the lad some years ago when he washed up on the Essex coast in a rubber dingy with a bunch of other seekers after sanctuary from some unspeakable foreign hell-hole.
The lad adapted quickly to life in a middle-class English family. He was particularly delighted to find he now had a nubile older sister! Indeed, it was Rami’s constant pestering of the poor girl that prompted the Tuppers to send Poppy off to finishing school! Honestly, the beastly little pervert never gave her a moment’s peace! He was particularly fond of playing a game called “The pretty Partisan spy and the State Police”, which usually involved Poppy being tightly tied up, stripped and wickedly “interrogated”!
Daddy actually had to put locks on his daughter’s bedroom door!
These days Rami (pictured here on the right) is quite grown up, and even has an impressive list of convictions for criminal activity. He’s living in social housing in a rough part of Humpingham, but still likes to pop over to Pokeham with his gang of equally delinquent pals.
They enjoy getting the bus to Pokeham, then drinking copious amounts of ale in the Randy Lurcher pub, and generally misbehaving. This evening they’ve come out of the bar to find a most enticing scene – a curvy blonde milf, bound, gagged and fastened to an intriguing device.
Mrs P had been hoping to get through the ordeal with just an occasional bum smack, or nipple tweak from a passing villager. You can imagine her dismay when Rami Tupper and his odious mate Wilf Ucker, staggered drunkenly into view!
I expect you can also imagine what happened next! But I’ll leave all that to your wicked imaginations!

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - Experimenting

While one must applaud the dedication of young teacher, Poppy Tupper, surely it must have occurred to her that the “boys” in her class seem to be a good deal older than average school age?
I mean, just look at them – stunted, yes. Ugly, certainly. One or two have full beards. Others have male pattern baldness! They’re physically short, thanks largely to the inbreeding so common in remote country areas, but there isn’t one of them under the age of 32 by the look of it!
Sociologists have suggested that this occurrence of extended education is due to the high levels of unemployment in rural areas like Humpshire. Maybe I’m being too simplistic here – but could it be these hulking dimwits enjoy being able to take advantage of their nubile but naïve teacher?
Today Poppy was trying to teach the young thugs something about Science. It was, in hindsight, rather silly of her to ask the class to suggest conducting an experiment of their choice.
It was out with the rope and the tape, and up with Poppy’s skirt, and out with her boobs as well! I’m not sure the thickos learned anything about science, unless it was Science Friction!

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - The mugging

Another episode in the life of Mrs Katie Perkins -

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - Soapy crew

Not all the men of Pokeham are sex-crazed perverts, you know. Some of the chaps have a social conscience, and dedicate their spare time to good works in the community.
Take these three wholesome fellows – Bruce, Seth and Baz. Every Saturday afternoon they set up a booth in the car park of the Randy Lurcher pub, where they offer a “Wash and Brush Up” facility.
If your wife or girlfriend has been dragged through a hedge, or chased across the common, or otherwise experienced a thorough rumpling, she may be a bit grubby. What she needs is a jolly good soaping!
Today, to get things started, they’ve got to work on a comely village wench who, to be fair, looked quite clean already – but it’s always worth being scrupulous, isn’t it!
The process involves the removal of all clothing, obviously! Then the victim – I mean, the customer, is carefully and tightly tied up – to prevent injury. After all, some of the soapy rubbing can be a bit ticklish, and a flailing arm or leg might do a lad a mischief
They take especial care of all those curves and creases, soaping, rubbing and scouring, buffing and burnishing! The lads work so hard that at the end of the day, they’re utterly exhausted!

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - Knotty Norman

Some lonely lads take up train-spotting, or stamp-collecting, or pressing wild flowers! Not Knotty Norman. His particular delight is to prowl the quiet woods, on the hunt for careless damsels!
Naughty Norman came upon one such recently. She was wandering innocently through the leafy glades in a pretty, floaty summer frock. It was but a matter of moments before Norman wrestled her to the ground, had her stripped off and tightly bound! Then he strapped the comely but unfortunate wench to a handy tree.
There was no-one to hear her muffled squeals, or Norman’s heavy breathing! And what he did next is much too rude to describe! But I’m sure you get the idea!

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - In training

One of my duties as Lord of the Manor of Pokeham is to ensure the training of competent domestic staff. I retain mainly French girls for my team of maids, as I delight in their pretty accents and natural grace, though it has to be said, they have a tendency to idleness!
Fi-fi, though, comes into her own when she’s required to train the occasional village wench who applies for a job as a maid. Here we see Fi-fi, armed with a twitchy riding crop, instructing the comely milf, Jacquie Tupper in the art of scrubbing the floor.
To encourage rapid development, every new maid starts her employment stark naked and strictly bound. To earn the various items of uniform they must pass a number of tests. Jacquie, for instance, has only achieved her maid’s cap, so far – which is why she is so tightly tied, and has scrubbing brushes strapped to her boobs.
Fi-fi, on the other hand, has earned every element of her uniform, with the exception of her knickers! To secure that final item, she will have to pass the “Pleasing the Master” test – which is mainly an oral examination, need I explain?
Honestly! My work is never done!

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - Slimed

Author's note:
This picture is for an online friend with a "thing" for slimy amphibians... Well, it takes all sorts, doesn't it!!

 

[tanuno]

[SirNoddy] - Gobblin' Gordon

The remote location of Pokeham-in-the-Hole, deep within the woods and wolds of old England, has led to some interesting speculation regarding its particularly ugly male inhabitants.
Indeed, anthropologists have worked tirelessly in recent times to trace the genetic root of what is known as “Pokeham Man” – whose features generally include sloped forehead, diminutive stature, large ears, excessive upper-body strength, and crucially, a poorly-developed brain.
There is a suggestion that Pokeham men are perhaps a throw-back to the Neanderthal times.
Intriguingly, while some of the females of Pokeham exhibit similar physical traits, many of the women are tall, fair and lithe-limbed. This, say social scientists, is probably due to the disagreeable practice of forcible abduction of maidens from more advanced and civilised communities in ages past.
In Pokeham itself, though, there is another, darker explanation – that most of the men in the village are more than 50% hobgoblin!! It’s true! Local folklore has it that dark elves have always resided in these lonely hills and hollows, preying mainly on hapless human wenches! It would explain quite a lot!
Anyone who doubts this would do well to study the above image. Forget, for a moment, the reason why a voluptuous blonde wearing only a flimsy slip is tied to a post on the village green, and examine instead the features of local inhabitant “Gobblin’ Gordon”, who is enthusiastically slobbering over the poor girl’s boobs. If that isn’t a modern-day orc, I’m a Dutchman!